“Are you done now?” This is the question I have heard quite a few times since telling our family and friends that I am pregnant. It’s funny how society seems to have expectations of how many kids is okay to have.
With my first pregnancy, everyone was so excited, especially since it would the first baby in our family and friends groups. I had three baby showers, received so many flowers at the hospital, offers of help, and numerous calls to see how everything was.
With my second pregnancy which I found out I was pregnant when my first son was only 9 months old, people looked at me funny. People would say “Was this an accident?” “Was this planned?” “How many kids are you going to have?” All these questions drove me crazy! I mean it didn’t matter if this baby was planned or not, he was coming! Yes I did want my children close in age, call me crazy. When Gavin was born, I received no flowers, no little gifts and really no calls. I didn’t expect a baby shower, but I was surprised how little people acknowledged our newest addition to our family.
Now I am pregnant again, this time this baby will be 3 years younger than our youngest. No this baby was not planned, but again why does that matter – we are happy regardless! This time rather than saying how happy they were, many people were like “Are you crazy?” I am not even joking or exaggerating that quite a few people told me that. Yes my boys are a handful now but we got pregnant, it happens. I always wanted more than two children and while I wanted to wait until both boys were in school full time to think about another baby, I will make it work. I just can’t believe that no one really seemed genuinely excited for us (other than my blogger friends and readers!) I even had one friend ask if my husband was going to have a vasectomy now!
I also think that if we have another boy, our friends and family will really be disappointed and not really acknowledge this baby. Everyone keeps asking me if I was trying for a girl – like if I had another boy I would be completely devastated. I know my family means well and yes I’d like a girl but I will take any healthy baby! (read my post about “Trying for that girl”) Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t have terrible friend and family members but they just think 1-2 children is it. I know so many people that only have two children and that’s all they want. I come from a big family (5 kids) while my husband is just him and his brother – I feel the more the merrier. I see myself having 3-4 kids, no more than that though.
I don’t know how families like the Duggars (the TLC family that has like 20 kids) or other large families do it, but I feel that it is okay to have more than two kids. I have always rebelled against society and maybe this is just another way I can do it – take that government I am having more than 2.5 kids! I feel like it is our business and our family so as long as we can love and support our kids, it shouldn’t matter how many we have.
How do you feel about how many kids people should have? Did you have similar reactions to more than 1 child like I did?