So the other day I was at McDonald’s with both boys (2 and 4), my mom and my younger sister. I was treating Aidan because he had a really good day at school. I could see Aidan up in the tunnel/play area creation play-fighting with two older boys (6-8 years old?) but no one was crying and boys will be boys. Gavin was being good and just climbing all over.
I didn’t see Aidan hitting anyone other then the play-wrestling with the two boys but I did tell yell up to him to calm down and no hitting. Then I saw some kids coming out, going to their mom and then pointing up to where Aidan was. I figured “Oh no.” Then Aidan came out and over to our table to grab a chicken nugget and this mother had the nerve to come up to me and yell at me! She was not nice about it and said that Aidan was up there hitting all the kids, including her three daughters. Then she said Aidan hit her 10-year-old daughter in the face and she was crying. Okay first off is this 10-year-old a wuss, I mean Aidan doesn’t hit to hurt people but rather to play so he couldn’t have hit her hard. But yes I know he shouldn’t be hitting anyone.
And I would have disciplined him right away (but of course he ran back into the play area thing) if she hadn’t come over and started yelling at me! I mean all she had to say was “Miss, your child is up there hitting a lot of kids, including my daughters.” I would have then quickly grabbed Aidan and gave him a time-out.
But, I was fuming that she so loudly yelled at me! I said that he is just 4 years old and doesn’t mean it and that he was just copying what the older boys were doing up there! (Why does Aidan have to take all the blame because he doesn’t know better and is following the examples of the bad kids instead of the good ones!”) I then ignored her and looked up to try to find Aidan.
So Aidan was back up there playing and the McDonald’s Mom Nazi had her daughters safely at her side, yes the 10-year-old was still whimpering for attention. Then she came up behind me and started yelling again that he is up there hitting other kids! So she is now basically watching Aidan to see how he acts! I said “I’m sorry my 4 year old son with special needs does not understand and copies other kids!” She yelled loud enough that other parents heard of course how her 3 year old is better behaved. The lady next to me started in on how I shouldn’t let Aidan hit!
So when I could, I had Aidan and Gavin come to the table and I talked to Aidan about not hitting. We sat there for a while longer and they ate then we left. In the past when other kids were being bad around my kids, we left the place and it’s not like you have to pay to get into McDonald’s, that mom could have left if her daughters (all older than Aidan) were so afraid of my 4 year old son.
Again I am not saying it is okay to hit, it is actually a constant battle with me and him to explain that he needs to calm down and other kids don’t like to be touched. He basically “tags” kids or just copies what older kids do.
Basically I would have appreciated that other mother to come talk to me, instead of yelling at me in the middle of the McDonalds play area. She implied that I was a bad mom who couldn’t control her kids. You know what I am 6 months pregnant and doing the best I can. Aidan is very active and when around a lot of kids he gets over-excited, did she want me to spank him or leave McDonalds?
I also think kids need to handle things on their own sometimes because mom is not always going to be there, like on the school playground or whatever. If a kid said to Aidan to stop then he would, he is more likely to listen to someone closer to his age than an adult. Kids can also be drama queens and go crying to their parents for a little tap (and I know because my youngest can play the drama queen role.)
What would you have done? Left McDonalds? Yelled back? Ignored the mom? Apologized and left it at that?
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You are MUCH nicer than I would have been. I know myself and know that I would have lost my cool with the mom. ;)
I cannot believe this woman would have the nerve, especially since at 6 months along you are obviously pregnant. What an inconsiderate twit! I think you handled it well considering. I`ve never had anyone come right out and yell at me or tell me I should do something with my child but I have had the looks. People in general are judgmental; if they would spend less time focusing on other people and more on themselves being positive they would realize that most situations are not what they seem. It sounds to me like she did want you to spank or leave; I`m glad you did neither.
Emily, I cannot believe the mentality of your students. I wonder if any of these students have younger siblings, I bet not. Or ask their parents if they were the perfect little angels when they grew up, I bet not.
People need to get a grip! So sorry you had this happen to you are your son. Btw, my son`s name is Aidan too! :)
I personally would have apologized, told her that I'd talk to him and just left it at that, and if she continued to yell at me and bring it back up, I would have let her have it (Verbally of course)!
The thing is all another parent or person can do in this situation is let you know what's happening and let you do your job as a mom-It's not like you said the hell with it and let him run loose hitting random people in his wake-You told the woman you'd talk to him and she should have respected that.
I think the concept of tough love and allowing kids to find their own way has died. Being overprotective doesn't benefit anyone, not the parents, not the child, no one! But, we live in a world where if you aren't an overprotective parent many look down on you as being neglectful. It's a tough line to balance on. I'm sorry she freaked out on you! I think people in general need to remember the Golden Rule a wee bit more.
My guess is she seriously did want you to spank him and/or leave. It amazes me how some people think sometimes. In my class yesterday a student said she was disgusted by how people "never discipline" their kids anymore, and she was having a yard sale and this girl age 2-3 came to her yard sale with her mom. Her mom told her not to touch anything before they entered the garage. a few minutes later, the girl reached out and touched a toy. The mom told the kid to sit in time out on the cement just outside of the garage. she was saying the girl deserved a spanking instead, and at least 8 people in my class commented afterwards agreeing. At 19 years old, if I were browsing a yard sale or in a store and someone told me i couldnt touch anything, I'd probably forget at least once and touch something. I think it's crazy to expect a toddler to not touch anything especially if toys are there. I couldn't believe people were upset that she only got a time out.
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I just want to say that I can not say how I would react to a situation like this one until I have been in this situation. Personally I remove my son from a situation if he is mebehaving and hitting. He gets a warning, then if that doesn't work a time out and then if thy doesn't work we leave the play area and he doesn't get to finish playing.
That mother should NOT have yelled at you because you are the gauge of your Childs behavior. There are too many children out there that run to their mom for every problem and will never work the problems out for themselves.
I would have lost y cool with the mother and said something along the lines of: "how about you leave the parenting of my child to me and deal with the little wuss you're raising."
Sorry some mothers are so insane!! You dealt with it the way that worked for you as a parent. No one can tell you I that is right or wrong.
I openly admit that I have temper issues, and since she started yelling first, I would have yelled back. Probably not the best way to handle the situation, but it gets the point across when you make them feel the same way you feel at that current time. I am trying to work on my outbursts, but I am just being honest.