The Phone Call I Didn’t Get For My Birthday…

Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom but I just don’t get her.  It took her two days to call me for my birthday and when she did call it wasn’t even to say Happy Birthday.  You see the other day (Tuesday actually) was my birthday and she didn’t call.  Her reasoning…we had celebrated my birthday on Sunday.  She said she had us over for dinner and cake.  Well actually I invited myself over so my kids could swim, I did not expect cake or a present.  Anyways though that was Sunday, my birthday was Tuesday.

Now I talk to my mom on the phone almost everyday but on my birthday…radio silence.  Did she forget my special day? Was she too busy?  She had a million excuses.  She said why do I have to make a big deal out of my birthday, she never really even had a birthday party as a child.  Why do I want the attention? Why does it matter to me if she calls and says “Happy Birthday” and I say “Thanks.”  She said she is not one who cares about attention.  She said we already celebrated my birthday.  She said she thought I was busy.  (I actually had no plans.)  She said its just a day and she doesn’t care about her own birthday.

She doesn’t get it.  Shouldn’t a mom cherish her child’s birthday? I am one of five and one day a year, shouldn’t it be all about me for her?  Well actually I don’t even get that as my brother was born on my birthday but I am fine with that.  All I wanted was a phone call.  We talk most other days, but on the one day of the year I really expected a phone call from my mom, I didn’t get it.  She said she gave me a cake and present and now I expected a phone call?  I didn’t want the cake or present, I wanted her to fucking call me on my birthday!  Why is that so much to ask?  Why do I even have to ask?

As I sit her, tears are rolling down my cheeks and I don’t even know why I am so upset over this.  How could a mother not call her child on their birthday?  I guess though that is a lesson I learned from her, always cherish my kid’s birthdays and call them.  She said she doesn’t get “my” generation with how we want this and we want that.  Birthday weekend, Birthday month, soon Birthday year she said.  A phone call, I told her I was upset because she didn’t call on my birthday and rather than apologize or make up a good excuse (is there even a good one?) she rambled off about me wanting attention, being greedy (didn’t we just celebrate my birthday, who cares if it was a few days early) and everything else.  No sorry, no Happy Birthday, no How was your day?

I’m sorry I’m rambling as I normally don’t get too personal on my blog.  Yeah go figure I started a blog to write my personal thoughts and I hardly ever do that.  Well this bothered me and I needed to vent.  Like I said don’t get me wrong I love my mom and I am grateful for her and the help I get with my kids but deep down don’t we all just want our moms to be our moms.  As a mom and wife I am stretched so far that shouldn’t my own mom be the own there for me the most, I mean she is the one who should know me the best.