Big Families Means More to Love: Mastering Multigenerational Living

You’re excited about the prospect of creating a multi-generational household, aren’t you?

Lots of people are creating multi-generational homes for financial reasons and sometimes even because they like the idea of having an extended family close by. Here’s how people do it and how you can do it too.

Set Boundaries And Rules

The easiest way for your family structure to break down is to not have a firm set of rules. Maybe it’s been awhile since you’ve had kids in the house or maybe you just forgot what it was like living under your parent’s roof. Whatever the case, set rules.

Even your grandparents and parents need them. Do it early so that feelings aren’t hurt later. If you don’t want your parents to discipline your children, make it clear during an initial family meeting. If you don’t want your parents to go into certain parts of the home when you’re not there, also make it clear with them. Remember, this is your home.

And, maybe you’ll need a larger home. Real estate agencies, like www.CountrywideScotland.co.uk find that people often underestimate the size of home they need when mom and dad, or grandparents, move in.

So, while you’re “laying down the law,” also make sure that there’s a space for your parents that’s separate from your own space. Otherwise, you’ll be creating new problems that weren’t there before.

Grandparents love to “spoil” children, and they often believe it’s their “right” to do so. But, if there’s something you deem inappropriate for your kids, make it clear. This includes overall diet, and access to junk food or snacks, T.V. shows, and activities, and bedtime. Don’t be afraid to say something and make it clear what you want and don’t want them to do.

Maintain Respect

Sometimes, it’s hard to agree with everything your parents say or do. In most cases, you won’t agree when there’s a cultural difference. We all grew up in a different time than our parents. And, they may not do everything the way you would in your own household. But, you have to remember that they may also be going through a transition. They’re not in their own home, and they have to get used to that fact.

Now, you don’t have to treat them with disrespect when you lay down the rules, but you also need to be firm. Finding a middle ground can be tough. The best approach is one where you’re honest and civil, and yet firm in what you want. Keep emotion out of it and stick to the facts.

Make sure your parents understand that you love them, but that you also need to make rules for the house that they must follow.

Make Sure You Don’t Lose Your Own Sense Of Privacy

It’s common for large households to have a problem with privacy. Everyone needs some, sometimes. When you have a separate attached apartment for your parents or grandparents, or just one room, make sure that everyone has their own space. Your parents shouldn’t be crowding you, and you shouldn’t be crowding them.

If you need alone time with your spouse, or for yourself, put a lock on your bedroom door, and it’ll help prevent unwanted drop-ins.

If the home is too small, think about scheduling some time for every member of the family. And, pick a “quiet space” for everyone that they can rely on during certain times of the day.

How To Share Chores

Chores are something you’ll want to share because it’s no fun to be stuck doing all the cooking and cleaning yourself. Just because you have permanent guests in your home doesn’t mean they can freeload. Split up the cooking, laundry, and other cleaning so that everyone gets a job to do.

Divvy Up The Expenses

Just like chores, it’s a good idea to divvy up the costs associated with keeping up the house. If your parents or grandparents are living with you, they can share in the costs for things like utilities and groceries. In most cases, you can charge them something that’s less than what they’d get if they lived out on their own and that’s still fair for them considering they aren’t getting an entire apartment or home to themselves.

Get Into A Routine

People love routines. Kids need structure and so do adults. When there is no routine or structure, lives are in chaos. A routine helps coordinate and schedules work around people’s lives and ensures that everything gets done that needs being done. If you rely on your parents for babysitting, for example, make sure you’re all on the same page and that your schedules don’t conflict. The only way this happens is with a schedule and routine.

Douglas Smith is a family man surrounded by kids, pets and with his extended family on the doorstep too. Life is crazy but he loves it! He enjoys writing about family life for lifestyle blogs.