Talking to Your Kids About Drugs: Yes You Can

Children are naturally curious creatures. They notice everything–even things they might not ever tell you about. This is why, even though your instinct might simply be to try and prevent them from ever finding out about drinking and drugs, it is better to start their education early. This way, when that inevitable peer pressure does happen, they will be prepared, and they will know what to do.

Learning at Home

If you or your partner drink or partake of the occasional substance (marijuana is legal in several states now, after all), we promise you: your kids notice. More importantly, they will likely model their own drug and alcohol seeking behaviors after yours, even if they do it subconsciously. This is why “do as I say, not as I do” has never proven to be an effective parenting technique. And this is why it is imperative that you know the difference between alcohol abuse and alcohol addiction. The primary difference, say the experts at the Portland rehabilitation center Crestview Recovery, is that alcohol abuse is often a symptom of a developing addiction.

This is an important distinction to recognize, not only for yourself but your kids. Teaching them how to tell the difference between social drinking, abuse, and addiction will help them decide whether their friends need help or are just doing typical childhood/adolescent experimentation.

How Do You Do It?

Beyond modeling after your behavior, the first teacher your kids are going to have about alcohol and drugs is the media. This can be a good thing. Why? Because it opens the door to conversation. When your kids are watching a show where someone smokes or drinks, ask them what they think about it. Ask them if they have questions and then do your best to answer those questions honestly. This helps teach your kids that they can talk to you about these “forbidden” issues without your freaking out. Being able to come to you knowing you will stay calm will be incredibly important when they get older and are pressured to partake themselves.

Get Involved

We’re not saying that you have to glue yourself to your child. Even so, knowing your kid’s friends and those friends’ families goes a long way to keeping your kid away from drugs and drinking. Why? Because if those friends know you and respect you, they will be less likely to try to pressure your kids into activities of which they know you’ll disapprove. Why? Because when you inevitably find out, they won’t just be in trouble with you, they’ll get in trouble with their own families. It turns out that “It takes a village” is more than just a cliche!

Another great way to discourage experimentation and bowing to peer pressure is to offer to be your children’s “bad guy.” This takes the onus off of them in the eyes of their peers. All kids understand “my parents will kill me.” Not all understand “I just don’t feel like it.”

Practice Saying No

Telling your kids to “just say no” is important but it’s also important to teach your kids how to say no. Simply saying no and running away won’t always get the job done, especially as they get older. Sit down with them and put together a few scripts they can use if a simple “no thanks” doesn’t work. Saying phrases like the aforementioned “my parents will kill me” and “I can’t, I have too much stuff to do at home,” etc. are kid-friendly and often more accepted than anything else. Practice these scripts with your kids so that they will know instinctively how to use them when they are among their peers.

Lay Down the Law

Finally, make sure your kids know exactly what you will do if you catch them experimenting and then stick to that punishment. Don’t surprise them with punishment the first time you learn about them drinking, smoking, etc. Talk to them about using and the punishments you’ll dole out early on. This way they can judge for themselves (or feel like it anyway) whether using is worth the risk of whatever the punishment you hand down.

The rock solid truth is that you can’t keep your kids away from drinking and drugs forever. You can, however, prepare them for how to deal with peer pressure, how to talk to you if they’re worried about actions their friends are taking, etc. The more prepared they are, the better off they will be!