5 Ways to Help Your Child Who is Suffering From Toxic Stress

Information for this post is sourced from Stress Health, an initiative of the Center for Youth Wellness, but feature my own thoughts and opinions.

Did you know that roughly half of the children in the United States have had potentially life-altering traumatic experiences? Toxic stress can affect growth, learning, behavior, immunity, and even genes if it goes unaddressed. Without getting the support of a loving and caring adult, kids exposed to very high doses of adversity have more than double the lifetime risk of heart diseases and cancer and a nearly 20-year difference in life expectancy. They are also at a great risk for depression, obesity, substance abuse problems, smoking, teen pregnancy and chronic illnesses.

Here are 5 ways to help your child who is suffering from toxic stress:

1. Explain to them it is not their fault. Experts suggest the phrase “It’s not about what is wrong with you; it’s about what happened to you.” Kids don’t understand why things happen and may become stressed out wondering if they did something to cause the problem, such as a divorce or medical issue.

2. Encourage your child to just breathe. As silly as it sounds, deep breaths can calm your body and ease your stress response.

3. Spend time with your family by creating rituals. Make it a point for a family game night or dinner together or even working on homework together. Those moments will help parents and children bond by keeping you close together with routines.

4. Give your children undivided attention. I am guilty of being on my smartphone when my kids get off the school bus rather than asking them right away how their day was. Kids need to know you are listening and what they have to say is important.

5. Blow calming bubbles. Again this may sound silly but by changing the dynamic of a meltdown to blowing bubbles together, your child’s nervous system will trigger a “rest and digest” response. This is not only fun but will lower stress if practiced regularly!

Take the ACE quiz

Medical providers use ACEs screening tools to identify children at risk for a toxic stress response. Take the ACE Quiz to better understand your child’s risk for the effect of a toxic stress response.

Please remember this is not a medical diagnosis. Although each ACE raises the risk of health problems, not everyone with ACEs develops them. Plus, there are things you can do right now to lower your and your children’s risk of health problems.

The truth is, nearly all of us have been affected by adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), whether our own or someone else’s. Share your story today. https://www.stresshealth.org/join-the-movement/your-stories/