Getting Pregnant in Your 40s: Your Questions About Donor Egg Answered

For many women, our 30s and 40s are the prime of our lives. We are busy enjoying our achievements – advances in our careers, stable loving relationships, or even owning a home. Yet despite all the excitement and joys being in our 30s and 40s can bring, once we hit 35, we’re forced to face the reality that if we want to grow our family, it may not be as easy as it used to be.

Every month, women in their 30s only have a 20% chance of falling pregnant naturally and by the time we are 40, that rate falls dramatically to just 5%. 

If you’re in your late 30s or early 40s and struggling to get pregnant, know you are not alone. Nor are you the first to consider using an egg donor to help overcome the fertility challenges you’re facing.

Is using an egg donor right for you and your family? What can you expect from the donor egg journey? We answer the most-asked questions below. 

Is Donor Egg the Right Fertility Option for Me?

Thankfully, advancements in technology have led to a sharp rise in the number of women having babies in their 40s (it’s doubled in recent years). There is now a plethora of available fertility treatment options.

Traditional IVF – using your own eggs – is one of these.

However, when you reach 40, this isn’t always the best option.

Why?

Unfortunately, traditional IVF doesn’t remove the issue preventing you from getting pregnant – the quality of your eggs. As we age, our egg quality declines and becomes a barrier to our ability to naturally conceive. 

That’s why many individuals and couples look to egg donation for answers. Not only does it overcome this significant hurdle, but it also allows a woman to give birth to her own child – an experience not available through adoption and surrogacy.  

Is It Hard to Find an Egg Donor?

Once you’ve made the decision to try donor egg IVF, your next step is to find the right donor. 

At first, this can be overwhelming. Where do you start?

Some women and couples choose to look close to home, with family members and friends offering their help. Others opt to look into a donor egg bank. The former often appeals to most couples initially, as it gives them comfort in their donor choice and – should they choose a maternal family member – it provides a genetic link to the recipient mother. Yet, over time, many decide to use an egg bank. 

What causes this change of mind?

Most often, it’s due to the potential for awkward family or friendship dynamics after the birth of the baby. From not knowing whether the donor should stay anonymous to what kind of relationship you, they, and your baby will have, it can raise significant doubts and questions. 

Furthermore, many donor egg banks offer extensive databases of potential candidates you can get to know through detailed profiles and photographs. This gives you a great amount of control over who your donor is and what type of characteristics they have (including those you may share with her). 

What Kind of Emotions Will I Face on this Journey?

It’s highly likely you’ll experience a variety of emotions, from sadness to sheer and utter delight. Moments of sadness often occur in the beginning of the process, when you’re coming to terms with using donor eggs. This path to pregnancy isn’t the one you’ve originally dreamed about. You’ll undoubtedly reach hurdles you don’t think you can overcome, and you may need to seek counseling to accept this new avenue towards parenthood. 

However, as you move forward – one step at a time – and you handle each stage at your own pace, you’ll soon begin to feel that bubble of anticipation for what lies ahead: pregnancy and giving birth to your baby. 

What Can I Expect from the Egg Donation Process?

After you’ve selected a donor, you’ll need to begin a course of hormones. In the case of fresh donor egg, this will involve synchronizing your cycle with your donor’s. This step isn’t required when you’re using frozen eggs. 

When using frozen donor eggs, the process lasts approximately four weeks and can be completed on your own schedule. For those using fresh, the process is much longer due to cycle synchronization with your donor and possible complications, such as your donor not taking her hormones as directed. 

Once your uterus is ready for implantation, your donor’s eggs will be fertilized with your partner’s or male donor’s sperm, incubated, and implanted within three to five days. Two weeks after the implantation of your embryos, you’ll return to the clinic for your ultrasound and pregnancy test

When you’re in your in your 30s and 40s, it is possible to have it all. You can still experience the fulfilling moment of having your baby and having the family of your dreams.