Creating The Perfect Wedding Invitation

Some moms are new at the game and have infants and toddlers, while others have young adult kids who are getting ready to embark on marriage and creating their own families. For that matter, maybe it’s the moms themselves rather than their kids who are heading to the altar.

Planning a wedding can be a lot of fun, although given how complicated families and relationships can be, wording the perfect invitation can put you in a bit of a quandary. There are tons of wedding invitation options in terms of color and style, but what most people say on them tends to be more formalized and follow long-established rules of etiquette. 

Following etiquette, by the way, isn’t just for fancy folks and it’s not at all old fashioned. It actually makes things easier and helps people get along. It’s saying please and thank you, and not reaching across someone to grab the bowl of mashed potatoes from the other side of the table. You can break the rules if it’s called for, but first you should at least know what they are.

The most important thing about wedding invitations, or any invitations actually, is that they say what,  where, and when the event is, who is hosting it, and what kind of attire is appropriate. It’s those last two things on the list that cause most issues.

First, The Format

The template for wedding invitations calls for the hosts’ names to come first, followed by the wording of the invitation itself (for example, “request the pleasure of your company”) at the marriage of their daughter (her name) to (name of person she’s marrying). Following that come the details of date, time, location and dress code. 

Who Are The Hosts?

Traditionally, the bride’s parents paid for and hosted the wedding. If it was the bride’s second marriage, or if her parents were deceased, the engaged couple themselves might be the hosts. Today, many couples pay for their own weddings; in that case, they might still choose to honor their parents by including their names. Don’t include the last name of the bride unless it is different from one or both of her parents’ last names. 

This first example is the traditional template:

Mr. and Mrs. Armando Vergara

request the pleasure of your company 

at the marriage of their daughter 

Cecilia Marie

 to 

Jon Alex Padilla

son of Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Padilla

Saturday, May sixteenth

two thousand and twenty

at six o’clock in the evening

St. Patrick’s Cathedral

Reception to follow at The Plaza Hotel

For couples hosting their own wedding:

Emily Anne Wang

daughter of Mrs. Richard Wang and the late Mr. Wang

and

Craig Steven Moore

son of Mr. and Mrs. David Moore

invite you to celebrate with them 

at their marriage

Sunday, June seventh

at twelve o’clock noon

Three Rivers Country Club

Luncheon to follow

If the bride’s parents are divorced:

Mrs. Penelope Stevenson and Mr. Roger Stevenson

invite you to join them

at the marriage of their daughter

Amber Jane

to 

Elisabeth Meade Erickson

daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Peter Erickson 

If the bride’s parents are divorced and her mother has remarried:

Mrs. Alice Holland and Mr. Roger Brand

are delighted to invite you to join them 

at the marriage of their daughter

Jacqueline Rose Brand 

If a divorced and remarried mother and her husband are hosting:

Mr. and Mrs. Brian Dunham

cordially invite you to the marriage of

her daughter

Amber Jane Peterson 

A deceased parent cannot host a wedding, but you can include his or her name this way: 

Mrs. Mary O’Donnell

requests the pleasure of your company

at the wedding of her daughter

Caroline Frances

daughter of the late Mr. Jack O’Donnell

There are as many ways to phrase things as there are family situations. Start from the standard and go from there. 

The Dress Code

Where and when a wedding is being held gives a clue as to what to wear, but it’s helpful to spell it out in terms guests can understand or look up. Standard dress codes are white tie, black tie, black-tie optional (or formal), semi-formal (or cocktail attire), and dressy casual.  

Actually, dressy casual is a misery of a code and no one knows what it means, but there’s barely an alternative unless you want to go the route of Tropical Chic, Barn Dance Festive, or Nautical Elegance. Don’t indicate just “casual” unless you really mean it and don’t mind if people show up in jeans.

And there you have it. Now all you have to do is decide on the guest list and where you should seat cranky Uncle Arnold. That shouldn’t be any problem at all, right?