5 Rules for Living in Harmony With Your Adult Children

It isn’t uncommon for adult children to move back home. Life can throw us all curve balls, and it seems the younger generations get thrown more curveballs every year. Whether due to uncertain times, like the Coronavirus pandemic, or your child is struggling to find a job with their new degree, you may want to invite them to move back in with you.

You can both enjoy spending more time together, but it isn’t a given. The last thing you want is for something to go wrong and you have to figure out how to legally evict your child from your home.

Make sure their stay is successful by following these tips before your child moves in.

Set Limits for Their Stay

Don’t make the mistake of welcoming your child home with open arms. Although you want your home to be a safe place for them to land, it can’t be so safe and comfortable that they decide they never want to leave!

It’s true that some families can make long-term multi-generational living work, but if you like the idea of reclaiming your home again, don’t be ashamed to tell your child exactly how you’re feeling. Let them know that you want to be there for them, but that they will have to move on eventually. Ask for their input and decide on a length of their stay that works for both of you.

Discuss How They Will Pull Their Weight

Did you know many parents are charging their adult children rent? You can too! It doesn’t have to be a lot, but receiving a good-faith payment from your child every month will hold them accountable when living in your home, and it just may encourage them to start looking for their own place sooner.

If your child doesn’t have a job, or if you want to help them save money while they’re staying with you, there are other ways they can pull their weight around the house. Chores they can agree to do in exchange for staying at home include:

• Mowing the yard and doing other yard work
• Doing the dishes
• Doing their own laundry
• Cooking dinner a few times each week

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries with your adult child is extremely important, especially if they are going to move in back home. Without them, it’s easy for your child to take advantage of you, and before you know it, you’re uncomfortable in your own house.

It’s important to spend time thinking about your morals and what sorts of things might make you feel uncomfortable. For example, you may want to limit the number of friends they can have over at one time, and you may tell your adult child that they aren’t allowed to drink at home.

Are they allowed to eat whatever they want out of the fridge and cupboards? Is it important for you to have a private bathroom? Are you willing to loan them money? These are all things you want to iron out before they move in to reduce feelings of frustration.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Your Child to Check In

Parents worry about their children, even when they’re adults. It’s true that you would worry about them if they were living on their own, but there’s nothing like the worry of living with your adult child and wondering when they’re going to be home.

Even if your child is legally an adult, you have the right to know when they might be home if they’re living with you. Ask them to give you an idea of when they might be home after work or a night out, and have them send a quick text if things change. It’s the least they can do.

Create a Timeline for Family Meetings

Family meetings are a great way to deal with family-related issues, no matter how old your children. When you have an adult child who is living at home, a meeting can be a great way to assess how things are going and decide on any changes that will make the situation more comfortable for the both of you.

Things will go much more smoothly if you create a meeting schedule from the very beginning. That way, your child doesn’t feel like you’re pouncing on them out of nowhere.

You can do a lot to help your adult child by allowing them to live at home. Just make sure they don’t take advantage of your kindness by following these tips!