5 Ways to Prepare Your Child to Visit a Loved One at the Nursing Home

Living in a nursing home can be scary. It often means moving from a comfortable home to an unfamiliar environment, and problems aren’t uncommon. It’s a sad reality that over 20 percent of residents have experienced some form of abuse in the nursing home, whether from staff or other residents. Not to mention, it can be a breeding ground for infectious diseases, like COVID-19.

The good news is that there are plenty of good nursing homes out there that will make your loved one feel safe, cared for, and comfortable. However, no nursing facility will feel like home unless you and your family visit frequently. That means bringing your kids when you come for a visit!

If your child has never been to a nursing home before, they are likely to be a bit startled at what they see. Help them prepare for the trip by having the following conversations.

Talk About the Physical and Mental Health of the Loved One You’re Visiting

Mental health and physical health decline as we age. If your loved one is in the nursing home, chances are, their physical health has declined enough that they have to live in a nursing facility in the first place. Seeing grandma or grandpa sick, frail, or confused can come as a shock to your child.

Before you go, talk about the unique health challenges that your loved one is facing so they don’t come as a surprise. You should also talk about their mental health. That way, your child isn’t surprised if grandma calls them by the wrong name, for example.

Ask Them What They Would Like to Do During Their Visit

Most kids, especially younger children, aren’t always very good at sitting still and chatting. Instead of making them sit on the couch and listen during their visit, ask them what they would like to do with your loved one while they are there.

A few ideas include:

• Going for a walk
• Watching a movie
• Putting together a puzzle
• Bringing and sharing a few favorite toys

Many nursing homes offer fun activities too. Why not see if you and your child can attend one of these activities with your loved one!

Let Them Know to Expect Attention From Other Residents

Not only should your child know what to expect from grandma or grandpa, but you should also give them a heads-up about other residents. It’s not every day they get to see young children walking the halls! Other residents will likely be interested in your child, and they may even want to say hi.

It’s important to explain that many residents miss their family, and seeing kids reminds them of their own grandchildren. Encourage them to smile, wave, and say hi, and let them know that you’ll be there with them if any residents try and strike up a conversation.

Talk About What They Are Likely to See in the Nursing Home

Nursing homes can be uncomfortable places for visitors in much the same way that hospitals can be uncomfortable for visitors. Talk with your child about what they are likely to see. That includes a lot of medical equipment and staff that may look a little bit like hospital nurses.

It’s also important to talk about the condition of the other residents in the nursing home. From skin infections to Alzheimer’s, there are many conditions and infections that are common in nursing environments. Prepare your child to see many people in poor health, as well as hear coughing and other sounds of distress as they walk the halls.

Talk About the Concept of Death

Talking about the condition of your loved one, in addition to the conditions of other residents in the nursing home, may spark a natural conversation about death. Don’t shy away from this conversation. Just make sure you cater your conversation to the age of your child.

Preparing to visit the nursing home is the perfect time to talk about what a nursing home is and what its purpose is. Let them guide the conversation so you’re answering their questions instead of telling them things they may not be ready to hear.

Your loved one can benefit greatly from having visitors while they’re living in the nursing home, especially young visitors, like grandchildren. Just make sure it isn’t a scary experience for your child. That way, they will look forward to going back to visit your loved one again in the future!