How Adoptive Parents Can Help Children Heal

Adopting a child is a noble and loving gesture. Children deserve all the love, warmth, and care that can be shared with them, but various circumstances may lead biological parents to be in a position where they can’t quite meet those needs and more.

Placing a child in an adoption system may be the best solution as there are individuals who are willing to nurture a child back to health. Getting adopted can be a traumatizing, confusing, and even heart-breaking process for children, particularly for younger ones who have reached the stage wherein they begin to grasp situations and implications clearer. It is therefore important for adoptive parents to foster communication and help children heal. Here are a few pointers on how this can be achieved:

1. Show Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand how another person is feeling, and being able to help one process or go through these feelings. Adopted children may experience a range of emotions, from confusion to fright, anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, as well as hope and excitement. The feelings of adopted children are influenced by various factors, including the previous home that they may be coming from, the situations leading up to adoption, trauma, and personality to name a few.

It’s important to make the children know that their feelings are validated. Adoptive parents can facilitate an empathetic environment by letting the children know that it’s safe to express their feelings in the home, and that you as the parent will help them do so in a healthy way. The children should be open to sharing their thoughts, fears, and suggestions knowing that you aim to understand their perspective rather than expect them to simply adjust to the new environment.

Platforms such as afth.org share resources that are helpful in nurturing an empathetic relationship with adopted children to facilitate healing.

2. Discover and Nurture Interests

Broken-hearted children need to explore and develop their interests, which can be turned into hobbies or even creative ways to make pocket money. Helping a child heal means being mindful of these interests and creating an environment or opportunities to help them develop. For example, if you notice that your child enjoys listening to music, you can take them to a music store and observe where they gravitate towards. They may show interest in a particular musical instrument, or simply enjoy sampling the different musical sounds while wearing headphones. You can then recreate a setting in your home that’s similar to the one in the shop.

3. Spend Quality Time

Almost any child’s love language is quality time. Quality time communicates that you appreciate their presence, you enjoy moments with them, you are listening to them, and you can handle their emotions. It doesn’t matter what you do during the quality time that you set aside. You could cook, clean, play outdoors, enjoy a show together or read a book. The point is to be fully present in the moment and enjoy the rapport being formed.

4. Be Patient

You may have had a picture of what your relationship with your adopted child would be once they’re in the house. The reality is that it may not always begin the way you imagined. Keep in mind that a child requires a lot of encouragement and non-judgment when adjusting to a new environment. They may even be recovering from trauma, which doesn’t dissipate in a day. Patience is key when helping a child heal.

As adoptive parents, remember that you’re not alone on the journey. There are support groups, counselors, and material that are designed to assist you while you help your child heal. Some of the ways you can accomplish this include showing empathy as children may be traumatized, nurturing interests, spending quality time together, and being patient.

Make sure to reach out to support systems in moments that you may feel overwhelmed, confused, and frightened. You may go through similar feelings as your adopted children and need all the help available.