4 Reasons People Fear Ageing and Why You Shouldn’t…

It is perhaps inevitable for all of us that at some stage in our lives, we become aware of the inexorable passage of time. We first think about it when we are kids, as we associate old age with illness, infirmity and – eventually – death. However, it isn’t just kids who think about ageing in this way, as is proven by the way adults talk about old age – something we’ll come to in more detail in a moment. 

As a society, we somewhat fear ageing, which is a strange thing to do when you consider that the alternative is not ageing. We can agree, for the most part, that it is better to keep living and accept the passage of time, but for many of us it’s a tricky thing to think about. It’s an inescapable fact that as a society, we look at ageing as a broadly negative thing. As we go on, we’ll deal with a few of the reasons why we fear ageing, and why they may not be so much of a cause for concern.

We fear ageing because we fear losing our memory

When someone above a certain age – and let’s be honest, that age can move around depending on who is talking – forgets anything, you can more or less guarantee that one of the reactions to their slip will be along the lines of “Oh, a ‘senior moment’!”. That in itself is a euphemistic implication that the person doing the forgetting has done so because they are experiencing age-related cognitive decline. Going a little further, the suggestion is that such decline could be related to dementia.

There is a surprisingly persistent belief that dementia is an inescapable part of getting old, and it’s just not true. While referenced statistics are hard to find on a worldwide level, one key statistic is that in the US, one in three seniors dies with (not necessarily from) dementia. This means that, as old as we might grow, we are still more likely not to suffer from dementia, and it is far from inevitable that we will experience it. We can also do things that help out our brains and bodies and make it less likely we will be among the people who experience the condition.

With all of this said, as we get older we may forget one or two things. It is important not to jump the gun and assume that this is in any way related to dementia. Dementia, an irreversible condition, is the progressive loss of cognitive functioning as a result of deterioration in the brain cells – and it can only be diagnosed as a result of testing. Forgetting things on a semi-regular basis is not a big deal; the longer we are alive the more we have to remember. The more, inevitably, we will forget – but unless it becomes a significant impairment to our quality of life, it’s not something to get hung up on.

We fear ageing because we fear getting sick and being in pain

As someone gets older, there is a sense from those around them – and those who admire them from afar, if the person is famous – that we’re waiting for the worst. Regardless of how well we look after ourselves, eventually we all deteriorate health-wise to the point where we inevitably die. This is referred to as dying from “old age” – but in actual fact, age is not the reason we get ill, or why we die. In fact, you won’t find the words “old age” on a death certificate, no matter the age of the person at the time they died.

Simply put, we can get ill – and seriously ill, to the point where death is a possibility – at any age. Our bodies do undergo wear and tear, which makes us eventually less resilient against illnesses that we might otherwise survive. However, there is no age at which it is inevitable this will happen. More and more people are living to the age of 100 and beyond, and if you eat healthily, exercise regularly and keep a satisfactory standard of living, it’s not inevitable that you will be beset by aches, pains and maladies when you reach a certain age.

Look around for famous nonagenarians (people aged 90 or over) and you will see a significant list of people who are not only still with us, but also more than capable of being interviewed on TV, speaking clearly and enjoying life. We all will inevitably die, but it doesn’t happen because we’re old. It happens because it is inevitable, and eventually we will have something happen to us that our bodies cannot survive. For some people it happens in childhood. For some it happens just as they should be hitting their prime. The reason we associate old age with death is that the longer we live, the more chance there is for something to cause our death. That doesn’t mean we’re guaranteed to suffer through old age.

We fear ageing because we fear becoming “out of touch”

It is assumed that the older someone becomes, the more likely it is that they will become out of touch with the modern age. Statistically that is true, and it is obvious why it would be the case. Times move on, norms change, and if you’ve been around through periods of change you are more likely to hark back to the times when you were “with it”. Again, it is simply a case of having been around for long enough to make it more likely you’ll part ways with the majority viewpoint.

It is also far from inevitable. Go to any peaceful protest and you’ll see more than a few people there who are older than the average attendee. Indeed, they will often be among the most fired-up people, because their experience of previous causes will have imbued them with an awareness of where injustice can lead. Someone who is 100 years old today would have become an adult at the outset of the Second World War. Any nonagenarian would have been a child during that time and reached adulthood either during, or just after, a period when the full horrors of that war became known. Chances are, they know better than any of us what human beings are capable of, and are just as keen to stop it happening again.

Getting older does not mean losing touch with what is right and wrong, and it doesn’t have to mean that you don’t relate to younger people. If you’re in your sixties and want to protest against injustice, you certainly can. If you’re close to 80 and enjoy electronic dance music, that’s fine. If you’re over 100 and still read sci-fi/fantasy fiction, keep it up – there is no law against enjoying new things, speaking up about your principles, or keeping a youthful spirit no matter what age you achieve.

We fear ageing because we fear isolation

When we leave school as teenagers, we promise to stay in touch with our school friends, and we end up drifting apart. The same is true for when we graduate from college, and often when we move on from a job. The older you get, it can seem, the more friendships are left by the wayside. And then there is the eternal truth that as you get older, more people that you know will get sick or die. There is a pervasive sense that as you age, you grow more isolated – something which may be connected to all of the above points, particularly the one about being out of touch.

As with all the other points, however, it doesn’t have to be that way, and you can have a lot of control over how isolated or otherwise you become. If you go to places you find interesting, seek out communities online around your interests, and speak to people with an open and welcoming attitude, you’ll have friends. You’ll have a sense of humour, the benefit of a lot of experience, and access to a Walgreens senior discount, all of which make you a desirable friend to have. 

Isolation is a greater risk the older you get because, as with everything else, the accumulation of experiences throughout life makes it more likely. If you have kids who have moved away from home, then it’s worth looking at moving closer to them if that’s an option for you. Whatever the case, there are always going to be ways of having more people around you, so don’t fear isolation – work to ensure it doesn’t happen.

Whatever age you are – whether you’d consider yourself to be an older person now, or whether you’re looking ahead to when that is the case, it’s important to know one thing. Your life, and your experience of old age, are not set in stone. You can have a lot of influence over your future, and if you fear ageing right now then the best thing to do is work towards a future that you can look forward to rather than fearing.