Being a mom while caring for your own parents has become so ubiquitous that a phrase has been coined to describe it: “the sandwich generation.” With any luck, the care that your parents need is minimal, but whether you help them out a little or a lot, it is probably important for you to demonstrate your love and support. At the same time, you have little ones of your own to look after, a spouse you don’t want to ignore and your own needs to consider. It can feel overwhelming at times, but the tips below can help moms who feel torn in too many directions stay on top of things while retaining their own sanity.
You may feel like a superwoman, but you still can’t do everything. While your kids shouldn’t take on emotional burdens or your stress, you can involve them in chores and visits to your own parents to help spread the burden around. Children can be taught to do things like laundry and tidying their rooms at a fairly young age. They can also learn to cook simple meals, and having a family rota where each person takes a responsibility for the main meal on a certain day can take some of the burden off you and bond you all closer together. If your kids are old enough to drive and your parents need errands run for them, your children can take over some of that responsibility.
What if there was a great way to show your mother how much you care for her on a regular basis without adding much to your to-do list? You can arrange to have flowers delivered to her every month with a subscription. Don’t procrastinate, plan ahead this year for Mother’s Day or her birthday. Even if her birthday is months away, you can set up this service and know that she has the pleasure of receiving fresh blooms every few weeks.
Sometimes even bringing in the help of your family isn’t enough. You may want to look into costs for having a cleaner for your own home or for your parents’ home. It’s okay to get a babysitter from time to time, and there might be services for older people that your parents can access that you don’t know about. If you have a parent who is being released from the hospital, there may be a social worker on staff who can help you access these resources.
Be sure to take the time to slow down and put aside what you should be doing and just enjoy time with your kids, your spouse and your parents, either individually or all together. It can be easy to get so caught up in your list of things that need to be done that you neglect to really focus on the people you’re doing them for. Keep in mind that it’s not the end of the world if your kids have fast food instead of a healthy home-cooked meal some nights or even if the house looks like a tornado came through it. It’s the time you spend together than you will remember in the years ahead.
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