Divorce can be a tough time for kids, and watching their parents battle it out under the Florida child custody laws can be even more stressful and confusing. Besides this, there are also a few reasons for the stressful feelings. These feelings include conflict and the loss of a parental relationship.
Going through a change, such as having to attend a new school or new location, can also be a stressful event for the kids. Unfortunately, the parents will also feel the pain and be unable to have the kids’ best interests in mind. No matter how difficult it may seem, you need to do the best you can in order to keep stress levels at a minimum. Here are the five best ways to make your divorce easier on the children.
1. Figuring Out How to Tell Your Kids
Divorce involves a lot of difficult decisions, but when they involve your kids you may find it even harder to do. This includes telling them that you are divorcing. The way you decide to tell them will also play a big part in the entire event and the way they perceive it.
A good idea is to have everything written down before you tell them. You don´t need to say much so it can be short and sweet. Also, make sure it´s read a few times so you can hear how you will sound. This will allow you to be ready emotionally once you begin talking to your child and witnessing their emotions. It will also allow you to control your own emotions.
2. Eliminate Any Disputes
Going through a divorce can become an emotional rollercoaster. Of course, being resentful and angry are part of the game. Both parents need to be able to express them in a careful manner. You can do this without having feelings get in the way, too. You just need to save them for an appropriate time. A good time would be when visiting a therapist. Whichever way you decide to do it, make sure to prevent any emotions that are strong to agitate any disputes while the children are around or could hear the both of you. By maintaining emotions and developing surroundings that are warm, parents will be able to maintain their peace and cooperation while being around each other or their children.
3. Steer Clear of Topics That Are Full of Emotions When Around Your Kids
Try to avoid any topics that may push your button while having discussions with the other parent. These will only end in tension and unnecessary yelling. Try to wait until the kids are not with you. This means if there are any issues that are delicate, or another now has a new love, then it is important to save these for times when the both of you are able to talk in private. Avoid discussing these and other issues that only made the issues worse while married, as this will only develop into needless tension for the kids.
4. Attempt to Create Commonality Between the Two of You
Divorce may bring about feelings of not having anything any common interests. This feeling could lead to stress. As you converse with each other, make sure to breathe and take notice of tensions felt on a physical level as well as any you may be concealing. As you do this, take into account of what you are thinking about at the time.
For any thoughts that may be negative, you should try to also make them relevant to concentrate on what your common traits are, and that is the fact that children are involved and they are being thought of in a positive light. Although you may not see your other half in a positive light anymore, that does not mean you should not think about treating them in a good manner. When you do, your energy can be committed to decisions involving the children.
5. Let the Kids Know You´ll Be There When They Need You
Having to separate from a husband or wife can be a heartbreaking time in everybody´s life. It can also be the time when your kids will need you the most. This will be the time when you need to be able to come up with methods to alleviate all tension in order to interact with your children on an emotional level. Remain involved as much as possible so that you will be able to assist in anything they may need.
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