How to Overcome the Fear of a New Relationship if You Are a Single Mother?

After each sunset, there’s a sunrise, and after each breakup, there’s a new possibility of finding someone better who will love and cherish you the way you deserve. But what should you do as a single mother if they left you heartbroken and full of fear to try again? You are not alone on this journey, and to help you overcome this struggle, we prepared a few steps by which you’ll be able to start dating again.

1. Take your time; start slow and easy

The fear of commitment is nothing to be ashamed of. If somebody hurt you badly in the past, you are definitely going to be cautious most of the time. You won’t jump into something serious straight away, and, in fact, you don’t have to. Start with something easier. Ask a friend to take care of your child and spend a couple of hours having fun. A few casual dates won’t hurt.

We know that this advice may sound weird, but think about it: when dating someone casually, you don’t promise them anything, and they promise nothing in return. You spend around three to five hours around men once or twice a week while still having a lot of time for your children. It’s a perfect way of learning to be close and intimate with a man again without being afraid of him leaving you without warning. You already know that it’s going to happen because that’s how hookups work. So start slow and easy; open a local dating site, read a few profiles of handsome guys from your city, chat for a bit and arrange a hookup tonight with someone who matches your tastes.

Considering that modern dating platforms work hard to make online dating safe and convenient, you’ll face no struggle meeting good guys ready to flirt and hook up every now and then. This way, you’ll learn to feel attractive and wanted by men anew, and it will be a lot easier to start dating someone after gaining confidence. 

2. Self-care is vital

When talking about confidence, we don’t mean that going out with men is the only thing that can help. Remember that no one can take better care of you than you yourself, so start treating yourself as the most important person in your life. Yes, even considering that you have children. And it’s not selfishness, not at all. Taking care of yourself in the first place leads to better relationships with the people around you.

Go on shopping, get a haircut, arrange girls’ nights out every once in a while, don’t bury yourself just because your last partner turned out to be a… well, you know what we mean. Proper self-care leads to good health, both physical and mental, making you a perfect mother and a partner that everybody wants.

3. If the wound is too deep, try therapy

We tend to think that this is relevant only when everything is doomed and you are just out of other options, when in fact, therapy in the early stages of depression, anxiety, etc., can help you prevent way bigger issues. So if you feel that the wound they left you with is too deep and you can’t fix it with sex and self-care, consider reaching out to a psychologist.

There are many options available; you can choose someone younger with less experience in therapy but with lower service prices or opt for an experienced specialist with multiple-year practice. Most of them usually offer a free first session so that you can decide on whether their approach suits you or not.

Take your time; there’s no need to rush when it comes to reentering the dating scene after a tough breakup. You are enough, and you deserve to be loved. You got this. Just make sure to listen to your heart and remember that if you plan to build a serious relationship again, your children must approve of your new partner, too.