How Domestic Violence Shatters Families and Changes Lives Forever

Domestic violence impacts many families and individuals. In some households, it occurs so regularly that the children growing up in that environment expect it. If they don’t see it when they visit other homes, they think it’s strange.

About 41 out of 100 women experience domestic violence, or roughly 41%. That’s horrifying but not surprising when you visit battered women’s shelters and see the many individuals living there. Many men experience domestic violence as well.

Let’s discuss this problem a little more. We’ll also go over how domestic violence breaks up some families permanently.

Violence Begets Violence

Many times, violence perpetuates itself. It happens on the streets. If someone experiences violence in their neighborhood, they might express themselves the same way with someone physically weaker.

It happens in homes, and that’s what the cops mean when they use the term domestic violence. These violent acts usually occur between family members.

Most people don’t associate things like spanking with domestic violence, but you should never strike a child, and spanking qualifies. A few light taps that don’t leave a mark aren’t as bad as fists, feet, belts, or other weapons, but psychiatrists all agree that corporal punishment hurts more than it helps.

Parents that use corporal punishment can become unhinged when that method doesn’t work. They might hit harder if they think it will stop a child from behaving a certain way. Of course, they might use violence against other family members as well. They don’t feel they can get the behavior they want through words.

Children who experience violence usually do the same thing. They’ll hit other kids on the playground or on the bus. When they grow up, they’ll use blows in relationships rather than words.

Families Can Split Up if Violence Persists

If someone in a family uses violence, they might keep the family together not through love but through fear. A tyrannic individual can keep a household together, but they do so because every other family member won’t seek help. Maybe they’re too terrified.

A time might come when the abuser goes too far, though. They might put a spouse or child in the hospital. Many times, alcohol or drug abuse goes with this behavior, but not necessarily.

If an abuser goes too far, the police might notice, even if the injured person won’t file a report. The cops might press charges, even if the battered family member won’t pursue the matter.

A judge might issue a restraining order. When that happens, the abuser can’t reenter the house, and they must find their own lodgings elsewhere.

Abused Kids Might Cut Off Parental Contact

If abused kids get through their young lives and survive an abusive parent or multiple abusive family members, they will probably leave once they’re old enough. They may run away or live with other relatives before age 18.

When that happens, they probably won’t ever go back. Domestic violence can impact children till they never desire further contact. The family, once it shatters, can’t ever get back together.

Years later, the parents might reach out if they’re still together. Maybe the abuser says they’ve changed. Perhaps they’ve found religion, or they’re no longer drinking or using drugs.

The adult children might reconcile, but many times, they won’t. They never forgive the abuser or abusers who created that fearful environment. It shaped and molded them, and the adult children can never forget it.

These Adults Often Need Therapy

Kids who experience domestic violence and grow into adulthood sometimes have serious anger issues. They might use violence, just like their parents or other abusers did.

They sometimes struggle in their relationships. They can’t express their feelings through words, and they use violence much more than children who grew up in peaceful homes.

Changing these behaviors takes work, and many times, these adults must seek therapy to talk through their issues. The therapist might help them control their anger issues with various exercises. They may suggest counting to ten when they feel their anger building up or taking and releasing several deep breaths.

The violence cycle isn’t easily broken, but it can happen. When it does, it’s always through a person’s pure willpower. The marks stay on them, though, mentally and psychologically as well as physically.

Domestic violence can poison a family, and sometimes, there’s no coming back. It can tear a family apart and send everyone down separate paths. It’s a powerful force that can wreck innocence.