How to Bond with Your Teen When You Take a Family Vacation

You may feel like your family has trouble bonding sometimes. If you have younger kids, you can probably win points just by buying them an ice cream cone. 

If you have teenagers, though, you might feel like they’re drifting away from you. They have their own thoughts and ideas, and it seems like they’re always challenging you.

You should expect this. Teens establishing their own identities means they’re growing up. However, you should not let them distance themselves entirely. You’re still their parent, and you should try keeping up that familial bond while they go through this sometimes-difficult phase.

In this article, we’ll talk about how bonding might become easier if you go on vacation with the family. If you’re targeting 2023 as the year you take the whole crew on a trip, you might use this time to reconnect.

Pick a Location the Whole Family Can Enjoy

First, you should make sure that you pick a destination every family member can enjoy. Whether you’re looking at Liberty helicopter tours of New York City or you’re visiting the Grand Canyon, you should select somewhere you know everyone will like.

Before you make your plans, bring the whole family in and talk about the options. Get everyone’s feedback. If you just arbitrarily pick a location that you think works well, you might find out later that some family members had a different first choice.

Perhaps you can’t choose everyone’s number one option if people have different viewpoints, but do the best you can. Getting everyone in on the process shows you’re considerate.

Let Everyone Choose Some Activities They Like

Next, you can let everyone have some input when you’re planning the trip’s details. For instance, you might approach each family member and let them suggest some things they’d like to do at the locale you picked.

You and your spouse or partner can both pick some options, assuming you have one. If you’re a solo parent, you can choose some things that sound good to you.

You can ask the kids about their ideal activity. Whether that’s shopping, a hike in a natural setting, visiting a sports venue, or anything else, you can set that up in advance if it’s feasible.

Choose Your Time to Reengage

While you’re on the trip, you should pick some moments when you can talk to your kids. You might engage them as a group, or you may find some quality time with each one in turn.

You might talk to them while on the flight to your destination, or maybe you can speak to them while you’re driving if you took the car.

Either way, you can take their temperature and see how they’re doing. You can check in during this time, and they might respond better than they would at home. 

They’re outside of their element, and the vacation atmosphere might relax them. Even if they’re sometimes a little surly, they might open up more while you’re on the road.

Find Common Ground

If they mention anything that’s bothering them, you should actively listen. If they mention something like trouble with someone they’re dating, peer pressure, bullying, etc., you might give them any advice that comes to mind.

If you ever had a similar experience, you might tell them about it. Since you’re an adult, you can probably think back to a time when you felt similarly. 

If you handled the situation well, you can tell them about it. If you didn’t, you can tell them what behavior they should avoid.

If you have never had a similar experience, and they don’t want any advice, you can just listen and commiserate. Sometimes, your teen wants to bend your ear, but they don’t necessarily want you to fix their problem. It’s enough that you listen and that you’re there for them.

Discuss the Present and the Future

Both you and your kids might feel better after you have listened to them and reconnected. At this point, you might discuss things they’re doing that make you proud. If you wish they’d improve in any areas, you might bring those up as well, but you can do so delicately.

You might also discuss their plans for the future. Maybe they’ll look into colleges soon, or perhaps they’re thinking about taking on a hobby or an after-school activity.

Often, parents and kids can reconnect easier while on vacation. The change of venue can loosen everyone up.