How to Learn to Make Choices in Different Situations

Throughout life, a person faces the need to make choices. They need to make decisions in different situations: domestic, personal, professional. It can be difficult to find the only right course of action, but special techniques help make decisions.

What Is a Choice?

There is no consensus in psychology about what to understand by this term. Thus, W. James believed that choice is the preference of one option over others. It can be of several types. For example, rational choice is based on a reasonable approach: a person analyzes each decision, determines the pros and cons. With the volitional option, one chooses something that will bring benefits in the future but goes against current values.

James also distinguished the drifting choice. In this case, a person doesn’t make a decision and allows circumstances to carry him downstream. In difficult life situations, he acts impulsively and lets his emotions make decisions for him.

A person changes his decision under the influence of circumstances. One has to choose quickly without having time to think, and live betting at 20Bet is a great example here. Because of the changed circumstances, a person looks at the situation differently and may make a different choice.

From James’ point of view, humans are logical and rational beings. Each person is already seen as an individual capable of calculating the utility of a particular action. If he doesn’t do this, there is cognitive dissonance, that is, a state of discomfort arising from the struggle of opposite decisions.

In difficult situations, it’s hard to choose between two bad options. In other words, both are disliked. In some cases, it’s easier to refuse to make a decision.

Choosing between two positive options is also difficult. Both are desirable, and it’s impossible to stop at something one. But you still have to make a difficult choice in this situation.

It’s hard to decide when there are more than two options. In total, there may be several dozen of them, the right ones – more than five. When there are many alternatives, a person runs the risk of stopping at wrong decisions.

Another approach considers choice as a part of life’s journey. Each decision made triggers a new variant of life’s development. In this approach, there are no difficult choices. Each person is responsible for making decisions and becomes the creator of their story.

What Prevents You From Making a Choice?

Not every person knows how to make a choice. Especially if it concerns important aspects of life. Often the decision is postponed indefinitely. This happens because of the fear of wrong choices. It seems that after that there will come a black streak and the end of life.

The following fears often arise:

• Rejection.
• Criticism.
• Acceptance of responsibility.
• Disappointment.
• Stepping out of your comfort zone.

Another difficult choice can be to take responsibility for your life. But you have to accept responsibility, otherwise you may miss opportunities.

Another reason is the urge to dramatize. A person wants to make the right decisions, and any mistake becomes a tragedy. But if one soberly assesses the consequences, it becomes obvious that a wrong choice isn’t the end of life.

Also, making important decisions becomes harder when there are a lot of choices. If you have to evaluate 10-15 options, it’s easy to miss important ones. Therefore, it’s necessary to screen and select 3-4 optimal solutions first.

Sometimes the opinion of others prevents you from making the right choice. People tend to get support from close ones, especially if the decision goes against the moral principles of a person, and there are mental torments. It can be difficult to choose an option that would satisfy all parties.

Sometimes a person’s decision is influenced by past experience, fears of repeating a negative situation. This prevents him from making important decisions. He doesn’t know how to evaluate the correctness of the choice and what to do in case of negative consequences.

Another problem is ignorance of one’s own needs and desires. It’s easy to choose if there is an understanding of life goals. But sometimes parents limit the child and don’t give him the opportunity to make decisions. Therefore, when he grows up, he must first spend time to understand what he wants to achieve.

Popular Decision-making Techniques

Coaches, psychologists, and teachers have come up with different ways that help in making decisions in any situation. It’s worth using these methods, and gradually life will change.

The Right Attitude

It’s worth giving up perfectionism and asking yourself the question: what will change? Even with a negative situation, life doesn’t end. There is an opportunity to correct everything.

Going through the options will only increase doubts. You cannot postpone making a decision. Often a person is fixated on finding the best option. This is a dead end. Just choose a good option.

A Square for Thinking

Making choices is easier if you draw four squares. Each one is dedicated to a particular issue. This helps consider situations from the perspective of events occurring and when they don’t occur. Four clear answers to a question make it easier to make a decision.

Use another exercise. Imagine that a friend has a similar problem. You need to help them make a choice. Try to give an objective answer describing the pros and cons of the decision.

Another option is abstraction. Reasoning should be from the position of an outsider. You cannot involve emotions. Only reasonable arguments are taken into account.

Meditations

The essence of meditations is to shut off thoughts, to immerse oneself in sensations.

Standard meditation scheme:

1. Turn off any noise (TV, music, computer).
2. Sit in a quiet place or lie down.
3. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing.
4. Analyze the sensations in each part of the body.
5. Relax.

After 10-15 minutes of meditation, you can move on to analyzing the options. Each is evaluated from two sides: positive, negative. It’s worth asking questions about what the solution will bring.

Relaxation on a physical, emotional level contributes to the right choice. You can meditate every day. When developing the skill to free the brain from unnecessary thoughts will be easy.

There are ready-made meditation programs. They are accompanied by relaxing music and positive affirmations (attitudes). They help you to get in the right mood.

Choices When There Is No Choice

A psychological technique often used by sales managers. Answers are formulated in such a way that a person has a choice and at the same time has no choice. A simple example: will you buy one carton of milk or two? There is no consent to the action itself, only conditions.

A similar technique helps in life. It’s worth reformulating the options for solving the situation. For example, instead of choosing where to spend your vacation, ask the question: “Will I go to camp or to my grandmother in another city?”. In such a formulation, the brain perceives information differently. It will be easier to make a choice.

If we emphasize the conditions, it will become obvious: sometimes the existence of choice is an illusion. Only the circumstances of the situation vary. It’s worth using this to your advantage.

Useful Exercises and Rules

Making the right choice is often helped by simple rules. For example, American psychologists advise writing three questions: what will happen to the situation in 10 minutes, months, and years? This helps predict the development of events.

At the moment of decision-making, reason is drowned out by emotions. Therefore, it’s useful to imagine what will happen after the choice is made. It’s possible that nothing bad will happen.

Another exercise allows you to look at the options for developing the situation from different angles. For this purpose, the question is considered from four positions:

• Personal interest.
• A person interested in the event.
• An objective picture.
• A long-term perspective.

The main thing is to stick to the neutral side, so that there is no temptation to distort the results. It’s desirable to describe each option in detail, otherwise it will be difficult to make a choice.

If the choices are equivalent, the method with a clock will do. Some psychologists suggest that you look at the dial and mentally divide it into two equal parts, each with a certain answer option. Then you need to look away and look at the dial again, paying attention to where exactly the second hand is. This method is similar to flipping a coin.

Business coaches suggest evaluating options on a 100-point scale. Choose a solution that has scored more than 90 points. It’s only necessary to correctly evaluate the choice. The scale should be built on the principle of “from the worst to the best option”.

Mental experiments can help. Often a person has little idea where his decision will take him. It’s worth imagining that six months have passed. How will the situation change? What will the made choice bring? What issues will have to be solved?

Thought experiments are suitable for different situations. They can be used to find the best solutions to problems, but they require imagination.