My four-month old cries every time I put her down…HELP!
By: Andy Eig, PhD. Clinical Psychologist
My four month old baby girl cries every time I put her down to play on her own. She won’t even play with her mobile without being held. Help!
Many new parents have trouble letting their infant cry on their own. They cannot stand hearing the child upset. Trust me – your daughter will not end up on my couch as an adult because their mother let them cry for five or even ten minutes.
You and your baby will benefit greatly if you can let her cry, then calm herself down so she can look at her mobile or play with her other toys for a bit. Your baby may need some time to adjust to your new parenting style, so try letting her cry for two minutes on her own and then gradually increase the time. Of course if she is crying for five or ten minutes, pick her up and comfort her. By letting her learn how to soothe herself, you are teaching your child one of the greatest lessons of her life.
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Thanks Lauren, That is exactly what I was trying to say!
I just wanted to say that I wasn't intending to jump on you for posting. Posting objections to an idea is more to keep those who don't know their options aware that letting their little on Cry-It-Out isn't the only way. :D
Thank you NimrodVern for commenting! I appreciate your honesty and support.
Controversy can be good. Opens topics up for discussion, and helps people think and make informed decisions.
Without controversy, people might never know that there are parenting philosophies which offer alternatives to CIO.
I completely agree with not letting a child cry, but I am fortunate to have 2 of the best kids ever. Who cry for about 10 seconds and then fall asleep. I posted this FAQ hesitantly as I don't agree with letting your kids cry for more than a few minutes but with 2 kids I have learned that kids are smart and if you pick them up every time they cry then you will never get everything done.
I did not post this to offend anyone, I just am trying to post things that may be helpful to some moms out there who feel like they are alone and are on their last straw. In the future, I will be more cautious about the eBeanstalk FAQ's I post so their is no controversy.
Sorry if this was taken the wrong way.
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I'm not a fan of the 'necessity' to let infants cry. They first need to learn that their needs will be met at this age and that they're loved and surrounded by those that care. Leaving a young infant like this to cry isn't productive.
LOL " My SON cries everytime I put HER Down?" This post is BOGUS. Read any child development literature. I am college educated and dont fall for this crap. Please educate yourself before you answer someone's question like this.
I must confess, I have trouble reconciling with this idea of letting your baby cry or wail for a few minutes and calm himself down. But then I realized, if I am not going to let him go through this emotional outburst now, how is he going to cope in his adult life.
I couldn't disagree more with this post. A baby who is left to cry it out only learns that it's needs are unimportant to its caregiver.