Guest Post from Coupon Kim

Thanks to Kim from Coupon Kim for submitting this post. Don’t forget to check out Coupon Kim for some great deals and freebies!

Juggling everything…You have to let the balls drop sometimes…

For those of you that do not know me, I am a mom of 7 kids and my husband and I run our own company where we buy and sell domains – sort of like flipping houses. I also have a Coupon Site that I started about 4 months ago – primarily due to the economic stresses that we are enduring right now. Our business has taken a big hit because the last thing that a company that is struggling wants to do is spend money on their website. I decided I needed to take the bull by the horns so to speak, and start making some cuts in our monthly bills. I started the coupon site first as an experiment and it quickly turned into a passion! I’m sure you all know how I feel – it becomes addictive!

My guest blog today however, is not about coupons, it is about being a mom and taking time for yourself. I really hope you will take the time to read this through.

In addition to our large family and work obligations, I’m going through a very personal cancer battle with my sister. My very loved, best friend. To say it is tough would grossly understate what I (we) are going through. I’ve been going back and forth to her home about 2 hours away to help take care of her. Thankfully I have the flexibility to do it, but I can’t be there as much as I would like.

My oldest daughter is also graduating from high school in two weeks – so we have been going through the, apply to college, apply for financial aid, buy this, go to that, whirlwind cycle of Senior Year. I can’t even go into how much of a mess I will be on graduation day – UGH!
Add to this the fact that I volunteered to do the 8th Grade Slideshow for my twins graduation ceremony. What was I thinking? Dear Lord!

This past weekend everything seemed to come to a head and all the balls I’ve been juggling crashed to the ground. It was horrible. I pride myself on being able to keep things in control, handle whatever comes at me and move forward. But this past Sunday there wasn’t one thing anyone could say or do to help me move forward. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to think. And I certainly didn’t want to talk. Thankfully I have an unbelievable husband and my kids are old enough to understand that “mom just doesn’t want to interact today”.

All day it seems, I thought about my sister, her battle, her aches and pains and her fears. I can’t possibly put myself in her position – no matter how much I wish I could sometimes. How long will it be before she can move forward with her life?
I thought about my daughter with the new life she is about to embark into. College. Moving forward, following her dreams. All the time we have spent talking about what she wants to do when she grows up – well it’s here now. Will she do ok? How will she deal with being away from home? How often will I get to see her?

These questions kept swirling until I finally just let it go. I went in to take a shower and I cried – a lot. Moms don’t often give themselves the right to lose control, to let it all go, to drop the balls. We must be super mom – taking care of the kids, working outside (or inside) of the home, wash the clothes, clean the house, taxi the kids, cook the meals, do the shopping – and the list goes on and on. Sometimes, the balls drop – and they drop hard. That is what happened to me.
As I stood in that shower boo-hooing my eyes out, something suddenly snapped me out of it. It was one of my daughters yelling at the top of her lungs, “Mom, can you look at my outfit and make sure it looks ok?” And before you ask, yes, she was yelling to me through the bathroom door and through the sound of the shower! I told her to come in and I peeked out of the shower door and gave my view of the outfit. As she was leaving, she turned around and said, “You always have the best advice. I love you mommy” – and out the door she went!

In that moment, as simple as it was, I snapped out of it. That simple, “I love you mommy” turned my day around. I started to think of the good things that life offers me right now. All the things I have to be happy about and proud of. I have a wonderful husband and I have 7 kids that are all happy and healthy. As of August I will have 3 in college – all three that have graduated so far. I think that is a major accomplishment. I have 4 others that not only do well in school, but thrive. There are no drugs involved, no skipping school and, the best part, they love their mom. What more could I ask for?

I decided to pull myself up by the bootstraps and revel in what is good in my life. What I can control – the HERE and the NOW. What I’ve succeeded at so far. Moms seem to measure their success by how successful their children are. But, there comes a time when you just have to let go. Let go of your children and let them live their lives and let go of the balls and let them drop – even for an hour. Give yourself the chance to recharge, to think, and to cry if you need to. If you don’t do it, the juggling act will eventually fail. I started thinking that I must have done something right and kept those balls up in the air more often than having them crash to the ground!

My mom has said to me on many occasions that she figured all we would remember of our childhood was her yelling at us. In reality, it’s exactly the opposite. I rarely remember her yelling. I do remember her coming home from work and us meeting her at the car and asking what was for dinner! She would go into the house, go up to her room and shut the door – all the while daring us to open it. That was what she did to recharge, to calm down. And you know what? We didn’t think a thing about it. It was what it was. My mom needed a minute and we gave it to her. That seems to be the difference in generations. Back then, you did what your mom said, period. You DID NOT open that door if she said not to. Our generation seems to think it is wrong to go to the bathroom without the little one hanging out with you. Believe me, I know, I did it too! But you don’t have to – you can have a minute to yourself and you need to make sure you carve out a few minutes in your busy day – to recharge, rejuvenate and keep your sanity!

So, for all you juggling moms out there – you aren’t selfish because you need a few minutes to yourself, you aren’t worthless because your kid brought home a D, you aren’t petty because you expect the toys to be picked up, you aren’t mean because you punish when warranted and most of all, you ARE super mom most of the time! Who else could do all you do in one day?

Chances are, you are keeping those balls up in the air more often than they crash to the floor!