Okay so I have been potty training my 4.5 year old for about two years now. He pees on the potty just fine, no accidents (except maybe occasionally at night) but poop – never! I have tried rewards, taking away things, punishing, sympathizing, ignoring, I am ready to give up. He wears a Pull-Up to school, even though he rarely has accidents at school, but its because I can’t trust that he won’t poop in his underwear. Yes we will poop in his underwear with no second thoughts! I probably scrub a pair of underwear everyday from him because I refuse to put him in anything but underwear at home thinking it will make him uncomfortable to sit in poop – nope so far he could care less what he poops in as long as its not the potty.
The funny thing is my just turned 3 year old is pretty much fully potty trained! He wears underwear full-time while his older brother still wears Pull-Ups. I was hoping that Aidan would see his younger brother on the potty and want to compeite or be like him, but he just doesn’t care. He knows where poop goes and understands its yuck but says pooping on the potty is hard. I should also add that Aidan has limited vocabulary (he’s in speech therapy) so it is not that easy for him to explain to me what is so hard about pooping on the potty.
Please tell me I am not the only mother of a 4.5 year old who still poops in his pants! Tips?
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Get a different potty. I have no idea why but that's what worked with my kid. I switched to the one that has 4 legs that looks more like a stool and it was magic.
Thanks for this post. I was told by a "friend" one time -- "what is wrong with you (me)?" bec my daughter is not yet potty trained at 23 months. She is now over 2.5 years, still in Pull Ups and I'm really not that serious about potty training her. Next month is going to be the start of serious potty though.
Anyway, don't really have a good advice.
I am going through the same issues with my son. He just turned 3 at the beginning of June and has been fully pee trained day and night since before his birthday, with only a few night time accidents. But he completely refuses to go poop on the potty. My son has very advanced language and just tells me he doesn't want to go on the potty. If I push the issue he will hold it and I have to give him pedilax... He has held it for 3 days before. Doctor said don't let to go 2 days so I have to give pedilax if he gets to 2 days. Its very frustrating. He will go in his room, poop his underwear and then call to us asking us to clean him up. I don't know why he won't even sit on the potty to try. I really want him to go to preschool, but am a little embarrassed that he is not potty trained.. I don't know what to do. I might try the fist thing like said above. anymore would be helpful. Thanks for posting this! Been on my mind, but didn't get a post written..
Oh I know plenty of people who had these struggles with their sons. Even some with daughters but boys seem to be harder to toilet train. My one question would be whether he is holding it in? Is he constipated at all? If he is seeming to strain at all not to go, then he may be having the accidents because he is so backed up he can't help it.
Apart from that, I would try as much positive reinforcement as I could and stay away from punishments. Also, give your younger child lots of praise and maybe use a reward system for him so perhaps Aiden will see his younger sibling getting all this attention and decide he wants it too.
You are definitely not the only mother to struggle with this. Hang in there!
-tara
My son is 4.5 as well. He has only been fully potty trained since last November. We had the same issue with him and he is in speech therapy as well for his limited vocabulary. My best friend actually helped us with this problem. She would watch him while I was working and watched another baby as well who was only 1.5 so she was wearing diapers. Even though he was in pull-ups, she would ask if he wanted to be a baby as babies wore diapers and big boys wore underwear and pooped in the potty. For some reason, that was the trigger that clicked for him to start using the potty all the time. He starting saying he was a big boy, not a baby and was going to use the potty all the time. Since then, we haven't had any issues, with the exception of the occasional accident; not even at night (as long as he goes before bed time). Just thought I would share. This worked for us; maybe it will work for you.
Im in the process of potty training my 3 year old i have been for a year now she is very stubborn and determined to do what she wants and well she doesnt want to potty I just had a breakthrough the other day with pooping she now goes in the potty and tells me when she has to go. This may sound silly but i told her ot make her poo go swim with the fishes and wel its what made her want to go. Ive tried everything to get her to go and amazes me something silly like that worked.
my brother was 3-4 and refused to go poop too he would rather hide in the corner or the closet and go but never in the potty. not sure if he was afraid of it or what and dont remeber what got him to go I think he jsut finnally realized thats where he has to go.