Not the Way to Cope with Motherhood

You would think that the opportunity to stay at home and raise your kids could only have positive benefits, but a number of stay-at-home moms can sometimes feel isolated, lonely or bored, which can lead to a drinking culture or a subsequent problem with alcohol.

Even if you are socializing with other moms during the day, there does seem to be a worrying level of acceptance and tolerance of regular drinking, which can soon turn to a scenario where you may be drinking more than you or your family realize, resulting in some seeking alcohol treatment when things get out of hand.

The potential price of motherhood

Being a mom can be so rewarding and challenging in almost equal measure, and although the general perception might be that the opportunity to stay at home and raise your kids is almost a dream-job scenario, the reality can be somewhat different and there is sometimes a price to pay.

The price that some moms, who struggle to cope with the demands and the conditions of the job, end up paying, is an over-reliance on alcohol to see them through the day.

If you have a natural propensity towards addiction, and some of us are are simply built that way, the stress, loneliness and general demands of motherhood, could make you more vulnerable towards using alcohol or drugs in order to help you cope.

Health and emotional issues

It is generally the case that when someone resorts to alcohol or drugs, it is a response to some underlying health or emotional issues that are not being addressed successfully.

If you are suffering from depression or anxiety for example, this can make you infinitely more vulnerable to developing a dependency on alcohol for example. There are many potential triggers that could cause you to hit the bottle for a bit of a release, only to find that your drinking becomes more excessive and regular, unless you understand what is causing you to act in this way.

Typical issues that stay-at-homes moms might often contend with, include a lack of free time and personal space as a result of constantly watching over your children, feelings of social withdrawal as a result of your new role, weight gain issues, or simply exhaustion which can be brought on by a lack of sleep.

Whatever the underlying cause might be, it is certainly important to understand that any underlying health or emotional issues that you are contending with, will make you more vulnerable to doing something like drinking higher levels of booze.

Part of the process of curbing any excessive drinking tendencies is to gain control over the issues that made you feel vulnerable in the first place.

The effect on our kids

Some alcoholics in general, including stay-at-home moms, often believe that they are doing a good job of hiding their drink problem, and maybe they can drink large amounts of alcohol without slurring a word or showing any outward signs of a problem, but it would be unwise to think that it is not having any impact on your parenting skills.

No one is suggesting for one minute that you are a bad parent because you have a drink, even when you do so in front of the kids on social occasions, but many who become alcoholics are ultimately fooling themselves at least, if they consider that an addiction to something mind-altering like alcohol, is not going to have some sort of effect on you or your children.

Children are incredibly perceptive and can often sense when you are not completely in the moment with them, even if they can’t necessarily pinpoint what it is that is wrong at the time.

It should be remembered that as increased tolerance to drink is a classic hallmark of alcoholism, there will surely come a tipping point where the family realizes that there is a problem.

Setting an example

Even if you enjoy a glass of wine or two with other moms at a lunchtime get together or in the evening, there is no reason to suggest that this is going to result in an addiction problem of course.

Many moms might ponder whether there really is any harm in having a few drinks to relax and unwind, even if it is in front of the kids. What impact your drinking habits might have on your kids now or in later life is almost impossible to quantify.

The general message to take on board would probably be along the lines of the fact that it is accepted that parenting and being a stay-at-home can be one of the hardest jobs around, but hitting the bottle on a regular basis, is not the way to cope with motherhood.

Toby Ryan has a role working in medical research. A wealth of knowledge, Toby writes on a range of challenging topics in his articles.