How To Focus On Yourself More As A Parent

As a parent, the idea of focusing on yourself can be an alien one. After all, you’ve spent years looking after your children and putting them first, and how are you supposed to take any time out of your busy schedule just to focus on, well, you? However, there is nothing more important than a little bit of self-care, and you need to make sure that you don’t burn out completely. We’ve put together a list of things that you can do, if you want to have some time away from the stress to make sure that you can feel rejuvenated and rested. It’s OK, you deserve it!

Go on a spa day

OK, we get it. You’re probably not going to have enough time (or money) to be able to take a three week holiday to Thailand and get a relaxing massage every day whilst sipping Mojitos by the sea. However, you can bottle this feeling (we think) and experience the relaxation by going on a spa day. There should be a spa near you, and it won’t be too expensive. You can relax in the swimming pool, visit the sauna, and enjoy the jacuzzi, and there are plenty of treatments that you can get, too. Sometimes, all you need as a parent is a back massage. It’s a stressful business, so book yourself into the spa, and you’ll come out feeling brand new!

Take up a hobby

If you want to focus on yourself a bit more, why not take up a hobby? Even if you can find an hour a week to go to the gym, or to a pottery class, or to a book club, you’ll feel like you’ve had some time out for yourself, and you’ve also done something that you’re interested in, too. The best way to do this is to think about what you really like, and what you used to enjoy before you had kids and it was a pretty hard task to balance everything. Look for things that are going on in your local area, and sign up! Don’t be shy, as there will be plenty of other people in your position, and you’ll even make some new friends.

Read a book

This doesn’t really sound like it is ‘me time’ as such, but putting 30 minutes a day aside to read a book – perhaps at night – will help you to unwind, and will take your mind off to different lands for a while. Pick something light if you’re only just getting back into reading, and you’ll soon find how enjoyable it is to find a book that you just can’t put down. The same rule applies here; think of something that you’re super interested in, and let everything stem from there. If you always loved history but you never made time for it, now is the time! Get a good book, and a glass of wine, and escape for an evening. This is a particularly cheap hobby, too.

Start studying again

We all have life aspirations and dreams, but sometimes we take a little detour before we get to them. However, it doesn’t matter when you do these things, as long as you do actually do them, and there are plenty of parents who go back into education after having kids to realize their aspirations. Whatever you want to do, whether it’s a Nursing course or an online Civil Engineering Master’s degree, there are many ways to study whilst being a busy parent. You can go part time or study online, and your college should offer you the support that you need to make it work. If you’ve always wanted to do it, why not?

Learn to say no

The best thing that you can learn as a parent who wants to focus on themselves more is to learn to say no. We’re not saying that you should reject your family members and say no all of the time, but it’s useful to be able to say no to things in favor of spending some time to yourself. If you’re asked to help out at the school or do anything that takes up your time, you just need to decide whether you really want to do it. If you don’t, don’t be afraid to say what you think (although you should try to be nice about it, of course). Self-care is the art of deciding what is good for you, and doing that. Don’t just do things out of a sense of obligation.

Make a list

The parents who will be most successful in the field of self-care will be the organized, list making types, and if you’re not one of these people, you should give it a try. Write out what you’re going to do in the day, and when you’ve completed those things, the rest of the time is for enjoyment purposes only. If you’re always on the go because you don’t know when to stop and relax, you’re going to miss out on a lot of time that could have been spent doing something enjoyable instead. Make a list, and don’t do anything more than you planned, and you’ll be able to unwind knowing that you’ve done everything you wanted to do.

Ask for help

As a parent, you feel like you can do absolutely anything yourself, and you can manage your time well enough to pull off what you have to. However, there is nothing to feel guilty about if you need to ask for help, so speak to your family members and friends and ask somebody to babysit for a night if you’re in need of some you time. Usually, they’ll see that you need it and they won’t think twice about helping you to have a bit of a break. Don’t be afraid to ask, and make it clear that they don’t have to do it. You could always hire a babysitter, but it usually puts your mind at rest knowing that your family are around to look after your kids for the night.

Don’t get strung up on perfection

You spend so long cleaning your house as a parent, trying to get everything right, and making sure that things are as perfect as they can possibly be. However, the best thing that you can learn is that perfection is not something that you can attain as a parent, and your house is never going to be sparkling clean whilst your kids are growing up. As the saying goes, ‘cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.’ It won’t kill you if things aren’t perfect, and as long as you have a good level of hygiene, everything is fine. Embrace imperfection, and use your time to think about something else instead.

So…

There are many ways that you can focus on yourself more as a parent, from going on spa days, to studying again, to learning to say no when you don’t really want to do something. Whatever it is that works for you, the main thing to remember is that you shouldn’t feel guilty about spending time on yourself. In fact, you’ll be doing your children a favor, as you won’t be running around like a headless chicken, and they will see you as a more relaxed (and rested) parent, with interests and a life that exists outside of parenthood. And that’s great, because you deserve it, so make 2019 the year of ‘me time’!