Tips For Transitioning A Parent From Having Caregivers To Assisted Living

The older your parents get, the harder it is to be a good caregiver. At some point, you’ll probably need to transition at least one of your parents into an assisted living facility to make sure their needs are met.

Approaching the idea of assisted living isn’t easy. Your parents will likely want to hang onto as much independence as possible. If caregiving is no longer feasible and a parent objects to assisted living, try these tips to warm them up to the idea:

1. Don’t make them feel like they’re a burden

Caring for aging parents is a tough job; not everyone is a natural caregiver. No matter how much you love your parents, the job of a caregiver can take a toll on your physical and mental health.

Don’t let your parent(s) think caring for them is a burden. When you demonstrate how hard it is to care for them, they’ll take it personally.

2. Keep unsupportive family members out of it

Sometimes, caregiving brings out the worst in family members when one person carries the brunt of the job. Caregivers are under an enormous amount of chronic stress and family members who don’t help out can be a source of resentment.

Seniorly.com describes the struggles many caregivers go through trying to care for their parents while dealing with unhelpful family members. The common scenarios are denial that anything is wrong and an inability to empathize with the pressures of caregiving. 

To win support from family, Seniorly suggests directly asking for support from family members. Rather than expecting someone to jump in and becoming bitter when they don’t, be specific about what you want from them. Whether you need financial support, hands-on help, or just a day to yourself, be direct with your request. If a family member doesn’t want to help, don’t push or condemn them; you’ll only make things worse.

If you’re the only one providing support and you’ve reached the limit of what you can do, that’s when you know it’s time to consider moving them into an assisted living facility. 

3. Give your parent(s) time to think

When you first introduce the idea of assisted living, you don’t need to pick out a community and have a move-in date by the end of the conversation. Don’t move so fast. Give your parent time to think about moving to an assisted living facility. They’ll probably need a few weeks to process the idea of giving up some of their independence before they can even begin to select a community.

Be patient and give your parent time to think about each decision throughout the whole process. If they want to explore multiple options then be sure to join them in the process. While it is ultimately their decision, your input is certainly important to their overall decision. Locations like Meadowbrook Assured assisted living might provide your parents with exactly what they need.

4. Give your parent as much decision-making power as possible

Once your parent has accepted the idea of assisted living and you’re ready to look for communities, give them as much control over the decision as possible. Of course, you don’t want to let them choose a community that has bad reviews or doesn’t seem like a good fit in ways your parent can’t see. However, what you want for your parent might not match their priorities. How many times did your interests clash with your parents as a child? Help your parent choose the community that’s right for them.

5. Support them fully through the transition

Moving into an assisted living facility isn’t the same as moving into a new apartment. Your parent will get their own room, but it will feel a bit like a nursing home. For many seniors, the idea of living in any kind of facility is depressing. 

Everyday Health reported on a study published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society that observed 121 Los Angeles seniors living in assisted communities. A whole 65% reported sleep disturbances which led to needing more assistance and depression. 

According to AARP, 90% of seniors want to stay in their homes as long as possible. Consider how stressful it must be to be taken away from everything you know, including your home, knowing you’ll never regain your independence. With that understanding, support your parent fully through the transition to an assisted living facility for as long as it takes them to get comfortable. Visit every day and try to get permission to spend the night with them to help them adjust. 

Be patient and loving above all else

Technicalities aside, your demeanor will have a direct impact on your parent’s ability to adapt. Be patient and loving throughout the process. Don’t show your stress or air your frustrations with other family members. Your parent doesn’t need to know about the drama. Stay focused on caring for your parent, and the transition will be less stressful for all.