How to Find Balance Between Being a Mom and Being Yourself

One of the hardest things about being a new mom is adjusting to motherhood. It seems like your entire identity shifts without a moment’s notice, and your life is then centered on your children. Before you know it, things that used to be about you are now about the children. The life before children slowly shifts and the person you were prior to giving birth is pretty much buried away.

Becoming a mother is certainly a blessing, but an adjustment nonetheless. While a bulk of your time will be spent caring for your child, it is imperative that you still make time for yourself so that you don’t lose your own identity. If you’re not careful, becoming a mother can quickly take the forefront to your own emotional and physical needs. Below are a few ways to help you transition while keeping yourself as a priority:

• Accept the Change

A lot of new moms try to fight the change of parenthood, but this is a battle you won’t likely win. Your priorities, schedule, body, and emotions will be altered once you have a child. Rather than working against this change, the best way to adjust is to accept that it’s happening and that it will take you time to get acquainted with the whole idea. Rather than thinking of motherhood as the loss of yourself, think of it as a new beginning, an opportunity to create a “new you.” To be quite honest, motherhood can do more for you than you realize, helping you to evolve as a person.

• Pursue or Indulge in Your Passion

What were you passionate about prior to having children? If you didn’t have a passion, what things most interested you that you wanted to try? If your passion was singing, find the time to take some vocal lessons on a periodic basis. If you loved to play a musical instrument, find a music teacher who can give you lessons virtually or during a time that works for you (and the baby). Whatever it is that gave you meaning and purpose prior to having your child, you should try and pursue it as best you can. Even if that means you can only indulge on a monthly basis, it’s a lot better than allowing time to slip away and 18 years later wondering what could have been.

• Talk to Adults

You will spend a better part of your days caring for and talking to children. It will ultimately leave you feeling out of touch. To keep your spirits high, it is important that you make time for adult conversations. Whether you’re talking with your spouse after he gets home from work or you’ve joined a mommy and me class where you can indulge in conversations with other moms who know what you’re going through, it’s important to socialize with other adults.

• Take Care of Yourself

You spend so much of your time taking care of the baby that you can easily forget to take care of yourself. This is bad for two reasons. The first being if you’re not caring for yourself, you can begin to feel depressed, worn down, and just not yourself. The second is the needs of your children. If you’re not your best, you can’t possibly take care of your children the way they need you. Taking care of yourself means caring for the mind body and soul. Eat healthy, exercise, get plenty of rest, and somehow find some time to just tend to your own interests (even if it’s reading a book for 10 minutes while the baby takes a nap).