Whether or not one believes in soulmates, it’s generally recognized that there are unique individuals designed to connect with each other. But how do you know that you’ve found the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? Here are a few ideas to consider:
You recognize a person’s flaws but love them anyway.
June Silny of Lifehack.org argues that seeing the benefits of a person’s flaws is a sign of true, everlasting love.
“Our flaws have benefits,” she writes. “Every trait has a positive as well as a negative side. It’s the task of each person to always look for the good, even when things don’t look so good…Stubborn people are good decision makers. Overly organized people are great at paying bills on time.”
She says that if you can see this positivity in another person without trying, you’ve probably found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
The most important thing is knowing how to forgive each other. Mistakes test a couple’s love, making them stronger as they learn more about each other and reconcile after an argument. Soul mates don’t give up on each other, and they feel compelled to make it work.
You recognize this person as being intertwined with your destiny.
Not everyone believes in fate and individual destiny, but if you do, listen to what it’s telling you. There may be many signs all around telling you that this person is for you.
For example, you might do a tarot card reading to see how closely your worlds are intertwined. Of course, tarot cards can’t point you in the exact direction of your soul mate, but they can provide information about your personality traits, what makes a like-minded soul, and how your future might look together.
Your values are aligned.
Many people go through a phase where they’re attracted to the bad boy or girl, someone whose values are in stark contrast to their own. However, these relationships rarely last. It’s difficult to make a life with someone whose core values are so out of sync—you’ll want different things out of life.
One woman told Huffington Post that this is exactly how she recognized her husband. “I knew because our views in life, our morals and our lifestyle just fit perfectly, along with being head over heels in love with each other. I fell deeply in love and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my partner about two weeks into dating.”
“When you know, you know,” she concluded. Evaluate whether or not you can sustain a lifelong commitment to your current partner, and you’ll likely know if they’re your soul mate or not.
You’re completely comfortable and confident with this person.
Soul mates want to spend time together because they feel comfortable, confident, and safe with the person. You don’t mind waking up next to this person with messy hair and raccoon eyes from yesterday’s makeup. Better yet, your partner doesn’t care either.
Your relaxing evenings are likely spent cuddled on the couch wearing pajamas and binge-watching Netflix. Your weekends may be filled with more of the same or adventures that you like doing together. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing—you don’t feel self-conscious when you do it together.
Your partner respects your need for alone time.
“Having time for yourselves is one of the most underrated elements in a relationship,” says Lachlan Brown, writer for HackSpirit. “Once in a while, the soul needs to be alone again without any stimulation.”
If your partner is jealous and anxious when you’re spending time alone, it could be a sign of a toxic relationship. You might not know exactly who your soul mate is, but you should know that someone who wants to control you is not that person.
You won’t be able to identify your soulmate by reading a how-to article online. The answer is found through deep reflection, soul searching, and discussions with your significant other. When you’re earnestly looking for the answer in tandem with your partner, it will reveal itself to you.
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