“So your trying for that girl?”

“So your trying for that girl?” or  “Hopefully you’ll get that girl.”  I have heard one of those two statements (or similar ones) from pretty much everyone I have told I was pregnant.  Yes I have two boys (ages 2 and 4) and Yes I would love a girl, but I wouldn’t be devastated if I had another boy.  It really bothers me when people assume that I MUST want a girl, and that is the only reason I got a pregnant.  I am not bitching about anyone in particular but it is just something that I feel is my business.  When people ask me those questions, I feel like I have to justify an answer.  I then feel like if my ultrasound shows another boy that people will feel pity for me and say “maybe next time.”

Maybe it is nothing and I know people mean well, but does it really matter what I am having?  With my first son born with a heart defect and my second son born a month early with under-developed lungs, I will be overjoyed just to have a healthy baby – boy or girl!  My husband and I joke that it would be nice not to have to go back to the hospital the first year the baby is born!

I look at it like if I had another boy, I already know how to handle him.  I have all the clothes and toys so I would be set.  A girl would throw me off course and I’d new new clothes and girly toys, as well as learn to deal with girls drama!  The reason I lean towards wanting another girl (other than playing Barbies with her and dressing her up in ridiculous dresses) is that I want a daughter that I can talk to when I am older.  I talk to my mom everyday and while I hated her in high school I couldn’t imagine her not in my life now.  I see how much my husband talks to his mother and I wonder if my boys will pass me off to their future wives or girlfriends to talk to?  Maybe they will continue to be mama’s boys, but boys will be boys!  I also know that even if I have a girl that doesn’t mean I will have a lifelong friend either.

So what do you think?  What bugged you when you were pregnant?  More to come from me as my hormones are really kicking in!

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Comments

  1. Your baby is a blessing boy or girl. A little girl sounds wonderful, but so does 3 sons!

  2. I don’t know why many people seem to lose their manners when talking to a pregnant woman. We had this a little bit when we had our 2nd boy… “oh, you must be disappointed it’s not a girl” What?! Not even a little, just thrilled and overjoyed to have a healthy baby. I have a friend that has 6 kids and after #3 people would say the rudest things about her being pregnant again. “Are you crazy?!”, “Don’t you know how that happens?”, “You must really want a boy”. They just wanted a large family. People should just be nice and say congrats, it’s no one’s business but your own. Congrats to you! 🙂

  3. Let me just say, I’m sorry. I’m totally the reason people say stuff like that because I totally had a third child in hopes of having a daughter!!! Not that I love my last son any less, he is the BEST, but we would not have pushed our budget, space and sanity to have a third if we’d had a girl already. So people said the same stuff to me but I could honestly say, yup our last try for a girl.

  4. People love to assume.

    I had two boys first, followed by our only daughter and heard a lot of that “going for the girl” talk as well. While I was indeed rooting for a girl a bit with that pregnancy, I was certainly going to equally love and embrace another sweet boy.

    Far more annoying were the comments that came when hubby and I decided to have one more child 7 years after her. Our “one more” became two more (twin boys). I was amazed how many people assumed these babies were some sort of doubly bad accident. Two instead of one, oh no more boys, how horrible! While we hadn’t planned on two, we couldn’t have been happier.