Disclosure: This is a sponsored post.
Yes, it’s true that there might be nothing worse than when a man or woman asks,“when are you due?” or offers to give you their seat on the bus, only to find out that you aren’t in fact pregnant. That moment is every self-conscious, non-pregnant woman’s nightmare. For pregnant women, however, the nightmare can be when people don’t know you’ve got a bun in the oven and feel the need to comment inappropriately on your physique. Or worse is when they clearly know that you’re with child and feel fully entitled to reach out and touch you.
Pregnant woman everywhere share the common bond of being inappropriately grabbed, groped, prodded, criticized and critiqued by friends, family, and, most awkwardly, strangers. There’s an endless supply of magazine articles and book titles that speak to how you can deal with the negative or critical ones in your life (check out discount website www.frugaa.com for money saving coupons for eBook and magazine subscription purchases; save money on new parenting books with Frugaa!)
Here are some of the things people do or say to pregnant ladies that the world can just cross off their list of feeling entitled to doing or saying right now.
1. Touching the pregnant belly: unless you are the husband, parent, sibling, or other child of the pregnant woman, you should never assume she will be okay with you touching her belly. In fact, other than husband and kids, you should politely ask if it’s okay for you to feel, or wait until the invitation is extended. Under no circumstance should you ever approach a woman in the grocery line or yoga class and give her a rub. It’s awkward and obtrusive if you were not invited into her personal space.
2. Asking, “Do you hope it’s a boy or girl?”: let’s get one thing clear – yes, sometimes families have preferences, but these are personal and unless they openly bring it up on their own, no one should prod for this information. The other thing to be clear about is that, regardless of “hope” or “wishes,” it is a fact that what parents want is a healthy baby, regardless of sex. Many modern, new parents are even opting out of learning the sex prior to delivery for an element of surprise, which further indicates that whether it’s a boy or girl doesn’t matter – a baby is a baby, and a healthy and happy baby is what you can expect every parent wants.
3. Asking, “are you going to breast feed?” and then presuming into a lecture about your personal philosophy: there are endless amounts of studies that support both sides of this issue, and just as any woman has control over her own body and own opinions, women have the right to choose if they will breast feed or not, without ridicule, shame, or judgment from those with the opposing view point.
If you’re an expecting mother, be prepared for inappropriate comments from those around you. Prepare yourself by checking out the Frugaa blog and discount coupons to stores that can help you prepare for your new little one. Also, remember, people have good intentions; they don’t realize that with their actions they are treading in sensitive territory.
Dianna Thomas Davis says
oh ya– the touching thing, was so out of control with people. and the comments– sometimes you just wish they would just shut their mouths. I have things like you weren’t that big with the last one, you must be having twins. Gheeze.I’m older, and yes I have gained weight. Sometimes you just want to disappear,and not be seen because you just know someone is going to do something that you just don’t want to deal with
Erica Brunt says
Thank youuu for the breastfeeding one. I’m not pregnant, nor have I ever been, but I find it super offensive in general, as a woman, when people lecture others about it. I wasn’t breastfed and if I had kids I know I wouldn’t do it. It’s not anyone’s business!
Rita Corey says
This is so true. For some reason people throw out the rules of politeness and personal space just because you are pregnant!
Tricia Hope says
When I went to my 10th highschool reunion,I was shocked to hear a classmate say this.”Iwould have known her anywhere,but God she has got fat 🙁
Janet W. says
That was one thing that I couldn’t stand was if someone touched my belly. People did it to my daughter, too, when she was pregnant. What’s worse was when a complete stranger would touch my baby’s hand! (which then would go straight to their mouth not knowing what kind of germs the stranger just put on their hand).
Mai T. says
To me, the hardest thing is to decide if the lady is pregnant or just fat to start with.
Alpana says
This is true. So many people ask some awkward questions.