Ways to Show You Care

In the bustle of daily living, it can be easy to slip into a routine with your family where you are so preoccupied with all the other things going on in your life you forget to demonstrate your love for them. Many people work on busy schedules; with so many things to do and think about, by the time you’ve dealt with all the practical tasks of the day it seems like there’s very little time left to think about showing affection for your loved ones. When you have children, they tend to receive the bulk of your affection and attention, while the adults in your life can sometimes receive a little less. As well as your immediate family, if you have a wider network of friends and relations, months may go by between contacts. It can seem as though only a short time has passed, but before you know it you’re writing another lot of Christmas cards and wondering where the year went.

Why it matters

You could argue that if you are part of a loving family, there’s no need to be overly demonstrative with your declarations of love. Your partner, your parents, and your siblings know you love them, do you really have to keep saying so, or doing things to show them? When it comes to emotion, rationality tends to go flying out of the window. Most humans need a level positive reinforcement – evidence that all is well and the other person still loves you as much as you love them. Even if you speak to your sister on the phone once a week, you still need to make sure she knows how much you care for her. People need to hear the words or see a demonstration of their loved ones’ feelings to continue to feel cared for and appreciated. It can be easy to forget this in the humdrum of day to day life, so going that extra mile can really make the world of difference.

Showing you care through words

Many people find it hard to express emotions like love and caring through words, an unfortunate result of societal restrictions and a belief that expressing feelings equates to weakness or vulnerability. That doesn’t mean you have to tell your partner you love them ten times a day; in fact, overdoing it can make it become meaningless. Saying it like you mean it is the key. Feel what you’re saying as you speak, and it will show in the expression on your face and through the tone of your voice. You don’t always have to say “I love you” either. Well-placed compliments are a wonderful way to make someone feel loved and appreciated. Communicating is important and letting somebody know once in a while can help to remind them, particularly if they are, perhaps having a bad day and things aren’t going to plan. Little and often is what can be key here.

Showing you care through actions

Maybe you have settled into a routine where your spouse always prepares the dinner or always takes the trash out. Whilst it makes sense to have your own regular chores, it can become quite demoralizing when you feel like you are being taken for granted. Offering to help out, or doing your partner’s chores for them now and then shows you are thinking of them, and that you appreciate what they do. One word of caution here; don’t tackle anything you lack the skills to do. If your wife always makes the dinner because she is an excellent cook, surprising her with your substandard offering won’t be much of a treat. Far better to take her out to dinner, or just order a pizza and cuddle up on the couch together. Simple actions can mean so much, like looking after your best friend’s kids for the afternoon when she’s feeling stressed or worn out, or taking a tin of home-made cookies round to your Grandma.

Showing you care through gifts

This approach can be problematic because it’s not the gift that matters so much as the thought and intent that went into choosing it. Chocolates and flowers are the stereotypical offerings made to show you care for your partner, but how much thought does it take to pop into the store on the way home and grab a bunch of flowers and a box of chocs? Flowers and chocolates can still be a thoughtful and appreciated gift. With a little thought and execution, a gift can mean the world and really make someone’s day. Choose your partner’s favorite blooms or buy a living plant that will last for longer than a couple of weeks for example. Getting some handmade Belgian chocolates from a master chocolatier, or having some personalized chocolates made will demonstrate your thoughtfulness far more effectively. If life has become a routine that doesn’t vary much from week to week, you could organize a gift experience. There are special event packages for all tastes and budgets, for example, you could take a guided tour of a vineyard complete with wine tasting, pretend you are an international spy at the Boston Escape Room, take a ride in a helicopter, or go for a fine dining experience, among many other possibilities. These kinds of activities can be perfect for a group of friends too, so if you haven’t got together with your girlfriends for a while, get together and book a trip away, where you can have fun and spend some time just being friends again. Spending time together, doing something different from the norm, can really go a long way in terms of ‘switching off’ and treating yourself or a loved one.

Showing you care should be a part of all relationships and friendships, and by showing your loved ones what they mean to you through a thoughtful word, helpful deed, gesture or day out, you can help make something memorable. After all, it is the thought that counts.