Single moms have every right to find love again. Although social expectations and their busy schedules don’t always make for the best dating conditions, it’s possible to start looking for love again with the proper mindset. We’ve created a list of five very helpful tips for single moms who are looking to date again.
1. Leave Out the Guilt
Single moms feel a lot of guilt about going out on dates again. Some of them feel bad that they are finding a new partner, while others worry that they are going to shift attention away from their children. You should not feel guilty about getting into dating again because you deserve to have a personal life and to pursue happiness; romance is a part of that. You will, however, be adding another ball to your daily juggling routine.
2. Be Direct—Use Dating Sites
3. Establish and Enforce Boundaries
Although you might be feeling very lonesome and willing to overlook some red flags, you need to sit down and figure out your personal boundaries. That means deciding several things like:
- how often to date;
- the time of day to date;
- sleepovers and other intimate details;
- when to meet your children.
These are just a handful of considerations you have to make as a single mother getting back into dating. After all, it’s neither wise nor healthy to allow dating someone to harm your mental health and wellbeing by getting involved too much in your life too quickly. Let your date know that you have zero tolerance for negativity.
4. Don’t Blow Off a Date for Small Incidents
You have to learn how to cut the cord with your child. If you’ve been single for some time, then you are probably going to feel guilty for leaving them with a family member and making your personal needs a priority. That mentality has to go because it can flare up when you’re on a date and ruin a good connection. Imagine if you look at your phone and see that your son has a fever while your mom is babysitting for you. You might be tempted to run out the door and make sure your child is fine, but you have to learn to let go of the little things and work on your personal life.
5. Consider Your Children’s Feelings
This may seem counterintuitive to the previous tip, but it’s not. You should consider your child’s feelings when it comes to your date. Your child is yours forever, so they are going to factor into the equation. If your child doesn’t like your new partner, you need to get to the bottom of their feelings and press the pause button, especially if they’re young. If you have a teen, then they’re probably not going to like a new partner at first, no matter what. You should hear your child’s concerns, but you should also ensure that they do not override and ruin your relationship out of sheer jealousy.
Dating as a single mother will be a unique adventure, and there will be trying times. Using these tips and your motherly intuition, you can start the process of getting seeking platonic connections, regular dates, or the love of your life!
vickie Belk couturier says
all true tips,,goes for older single moms too