You don’t have to look too hard for information on having your first baby – there must be a million guides, tips, and ideas on what to expect, how to prepare, and where to seek help. But what about your second baby? As any parent with multiple children will tell you, it’s a different experience altogether. With this in mind, this post is for all you mothers out there who are about to have your second child. What should you watch out for, and how are you going to prepare? What is your life going to be like with two young children to look after? (A little clue – it’s very different to having one baby.)
Hopefully, these tips and guidelines should sign a light on everything you might have to face. After all, you might have an inkling you have this baby business nailed after a pleasant experience with your first. But make no mistake about it, having a second is a different ball game. Ready to find out more? Let’s get started right away.
The big secret
OK, so let’s not beat around the bush. You might think your life changed when you had your first baby. Of course, it did – the way you think about everything is completely different when you have a baby. But the arrival of your second child could, potentially, blow you away. With one baby, you can nap when they do, perhaps go out on the odd occasion, and find it easy to fit your life around your little one. But when Number Two arrives – bam! There will be literally zero opportunity for napping when the baby is sleeping – your eldest will be demanding attention. You’ll find that babysitters are much harder to come by, too.
Anyone can look after a single baby, but throw a toddler into the mix as well, and even some of your closest friends might think twice. And you also have to steel yourself for the nightmarish length of time it will take you to get out of the house – even for a simple trip down the road. Finally, remember how you were there for your first baby, 24/7, 365? You will try your hardest to give your second child the same attention, but it will be harder than you might think. In short, there will be sleepless days, nights, and life could get very hectic, very quickly.
The eldest child
That said, if you think your life is going to explode, it’s peanuts in comparison to what happens to your first baby. First, they will be incredibly excited, and depending on how old they are, they will embrace the fact they are going to have a little sister or brother – without actually understanding what it means. But as soon as you arrive home from the hospital and it becomes apparent that this new little person is sticking around – permanently – it can often cause a tiny bit of consternation. And let’s face it, why wouldn’t it?
After all, baby number one has spent their entire life being the complete focus of you and your partner’s attention. They will have enjoyed one-on-one time for as long as they can remember, and now there appears to be a gatecrasher to their party – a baby that steals you away from them. It’s going to be tough, and you will need to make sure that you talk to your eldest about how things might change sooner rather than later. You should also try and ensure that you keep up your regular routines and activities, as well as giving your eldest a little time to adapt. They might start regressing a bit in an attempt to get your attention, and it’s also relatively common for them not to click with their younger sibling straight away. All of these issues could happen to you – or none at all. But as long as you are prepared and ready, have a chat with your eldest, and accept that things could be a little tense for a while, you should all get through it just fine.
The hospital
When you have your first child, it’s common to spend as much time as possible in the hospital to ensure you are actually ready to go home and ‘start work’ as a mother. With your second child, however, it can be tempting to get home as quickly as possible, mainly down to the fact that you think you know what you are doing. Just be careful to make sure you are in a good place before leaving the hospital, however. Given that things will be dramatically different
Given that things will be dramatically different now you have two kids, you have to be in your best form to deal with your new life. Never forget that the birth of a second child can have a profound effect on your emotions, and postpartum depression is a possibility even if you have sailed through your first. So, take your time in the hospital and don’t rush out – every bit of help you get before heading home could mean avoiding physical – and psychological – issues.
The new products
You will have a lot of equipment, clothes, and toys that you can use from your first child for baby number two, regardless of the sex of your newborn. But there are a few things you will need to buy fresh. As pointed out over at https://babyseats.reviews/, you will already have a baby seat for your eldest, and if they have made the transition to a convertible seat, it can be tempting to use the old one for your new baby. But, it’s always better – for safety reasons – to buy new.
Believe it or not, children’s car seats have expiration dates – usually six years from the date of manufacture. After this date, they are considered unsafe. Medical professionals also recommend buying a brand new cot bed mattress for each child, and that goes for your Moses basket, as well as new swaddles. New toys for the bath are likely to be a wise move, too. While they might be perfectly acceptable for your toddler, you have to remember that the latest arrival’s immune system won’t be as robust as theirs, and bath toys are notorious for picking up dirt and bacteria.
The new baby
Don’t assume that your new arrival will behave exactly like your first. It seems obvious to say it, but many parents are shocked at the vast amount of difference between their kids, even at such a young age. You might get lucky, but the chances are those differences will be very noticeable – some characteristics will be harder to deal with; others will be easier. Also, get ready for what will seem like different attitudes from everyone you know when you parade your second born. You often get the red carpet treatment after having your first baby, but it won’t be the same after Number Two in many cases. A final point about the new baby – you will find it is often a lot more robust than you thought. Often, it’s the eldest child that is the neediest, as they are the ones who had your sole focus in their younger years.
You
Finally, don’t forget to think about yourself – as hard as it might be to find the time. Eventually, you will be a lot more laid back than you were with your first – you won’t be watching your second child’s every move, and there will be a balancing act to perform when it comes to giving both your kids your time. But in the early days, it’s likely you will feel weepy – for a variety of reasons. At times, it will seem like an insurmountable challenge, and you will even feel twinges of guilt about the fact things will never be the same with your eldest. You will feel like you lack control, too – and it can take a couple of years for the whole family to reset and adjust in some cases.
All of this is normal, of course, but if you start to feel overwhelmed or too much like you are failing, get help sooner rather than later. As we discussed above, postpartum depression is a serious issue and one that is treated more efficiently the sooner you nip it in the bud. Ultimately, you only have one pair of hands, can only travel in one direction at a time, and can only be in one place.
As http://www.parenting.com/ points out, it’d be good to have Supergirl’s speed and agility, but this is real life, not comic books. There will be a lot that you learn to let go over time – life will be impossible otherwise. So, forget about making sure all your kids look immaculate, keeping a pristine home, and putting on your makeup every morning – it’s just not going to happen for some time yet! None of these things matter, anyway, and your only focus should be on providing a happy and healthy upbringing for your children.
What are your fears and hopes for baby number two? Or if you are already there, how are you finding it?
Michelle S says
I remember before my daughter was born we had our son buy a doll for her. Then the day she was born he was able to give it to her.
vickie couturier says
what good information,,my daughter is expecting her third son,,the other two are 12 and 9 yrs old so its like starting all over again
Sarah L says
Good advice for second child parents. Your world will turn upside down and there will be more love to go around.
Lana simanovicki says
These are all good things to know and I always pass this info to my children
Cynthia R says
I remember my mom saying she made sure to spent a lot of time going over pictures of me and how I wanted to wear pretty dresses every day as a way to get attention.